A Square Peg in a Round Hole

I feel like I don't fit in. I don't belong. I started a new job back in October, and I felt like I didn't "make it" with the girls here.

Okay, a refresher about me. I'm non-binary. I don't know my pronouns because nobody fucking cares, anyway, so I go with whatever people call me. (Sure, that raises hell when pronouns are thrown in there, yada, yada, yada.)

Anyway, so I'm non-binary, and I'm ace, and my coworkers, for the most part, are heterosexual and cisgendered. Sure, there is a lesbian here, but I don't even connect with her very well.

I just feel like the outlier, the coworker no one likes.

And the thing is, I know that they talk shit about me when I'm "out of earshot." Our back room is like a megaphone for anything said, or whispered.

Everything is very close-knit here, and I try my damnedest not to feel like it's my fault that I'm not part of the in-crowd, but it's difficult not to. Like, what am I doing wrong so that I'm not seem as the weird one?

I just wish there wasn't this divide between the coworkers, because I know that there are similar struggles that I'm having about work that others are having. I would just like for this not to be high school anymore.

Like, what is it that causes women, GROWN WOMEN, to become all catty and act like we're in high school again? I just don't get it. It makes me very uncomfortable to be part of this place anymore.