I don't really, but I feel like this really could pertain to my life right now.
I have had four different friendships seemingly burst into flames. And the only constant is me. So am I the accelerant or something?
So on the 23rd, one of my friends texts me, asking to be a tutor for her daughter. Now, I expressed my concerns, saying, "While I'm more than honored, trust me, I don't think I would be the strongest person to help her. I'm nervous I would do worse for her." Then she asked me why I thought that, and my plain response was, "I just don't feel comfortable in doing so." And she sends me this pissed off emoji with, "Ok." after it. So I know she's mad at me, just by the way she wrote her response.
Like, I'm sorry that I don't really want to help your child, for the reasons I mentioned. Just between you and me, I also didn't feel comfortable tutoring her child because she's kind of a mess, and it gives me anxiety.
So then yesterday, I'm in a group chat with three friends. Friend A's birthday is tomorrow. Friend B and C wanted to do something with her, as well as me wanting to do something. All on her birthday.
So I created this group chat and said, "Let's all get together on her birthday and have dinner together." You know, instead of fighting over her, let's all just have dinner with her together.
Everyone agreed on Buffalo Wild Wings, and we had everything set; date, time, etc.
But yesterday, I get flooded with messages from all three friends, and they're changing the plans on me, and I was supposed to facilitate the function and all. So I'm freaking out, and I'm having a panic attack, trying to figure out what these girls are trying to do.
Friend A wants to go to a bar after dinner, and I said that I wasn't comfortable with that, both as an expense and as a social event. I don't like to do things on top of plans I already made. So Friend A starts crying
Friend B tells me that it's Friend A's birthday and I should "Just go along with it." I again express my concerns about the event.
Friend C tells me that I'm being a bitch and that I should just think of Friend A.
So then, Friend A says, "I want to eat at a different restaurant." I express a concern that I have never had a good experience with the restaurant, that they have made me more sick than I can count on one hand.
Again, I get pelted with the, "you should just go along with it."
And I'm not trying to be a bitch about it, but I reiterate that I would not be comfortable with going to that restaurant for the above mentioned reasons.
They all start to drill into me about how I'm not being fair, that I'm controlling the event to something I wanted. I let the conversation die off.
So after about an hour, they start again. I don't respond. I was just stewing it all over in my brain.
I was having too much anxiety about the event falling apart because I wasn't agreeing to go along with what they wanted. Like, I'm sorry that I'm not going to risk my health on a place that has never given me good food, nor am I comfortable going out for drinks.
Friend B tells me that they wanted to regroup, and I was so frustrated that I said, "Fine, but regroup without me." And I left the chat
So then I get a text from Friend C say that I was completely uncalled for. And I told her that them ganging up on me for not feeling comfortable was not called for.
She told me that Friend A was okay with not going to the restaurant, but felt like she couldn't do anything right when it came to me.
Friend C said, "I feel like that's kind of rude on your end to offer to pay for her to do what she wants on her birthday but you choose everything that's going to happen."
I informed her that the proposal was that I was going to pay for dinner and drinks at BWW for Friend A, and that everything else was going to be Dutch (split the bill by what you order). I didn't know where Friend C got the idea that I was going to pay for everything that Friend A wanted to do on her birthday. I literally only said, "I will cover Friend A for drinks with dinner."
Then Friend C says, "Then don't eat at the restaurant."
And I say to myself, "What's the point of GOING OUT TO DINNER if I'm not going to be able to eat dinner?"
Friend C continues with, "Then you should have just said you were uncomfortable." And I lose it, I say that I had stated that I was uncomfortable with both ideas for the reasons I have already mentioned. And that I started the chat with the caveat that we were doing dinner with drinks, and that was what I was comfortable with.
All the while, Friend B is Facebook messaging me, telling me that I was making Friend A cry because she "could do anything right."
And I reiterated this known fact: I was uncomfortable with the proposition for my reasons.
Friend B says, "Well we would like to regroup with you, because we all want you to be there."
I said that I would like to.
Friend B said, "Well, we already decided to go to this restaurant after you left the chat."
And I said, "Well then I'm sorry that I'm not going to be able to be there."
And then Friend B starts reaming into me that I was being immature because I won't see it their way.
I ended the conversation before it would start, saying, "We're not going to listen to each other with how fired up we are. I'm going to end the conversation with: I'm sorry, but I won't be able to come to dinner with you guys. Full stop."
TL:DR: Apparently being uncomfortable in doing something makes me a bad person.
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