But there are so many right now, that I can't seem to determine which is worse.
I'm so lost and I don't even know who I am anymore. I feel like I'm losing everything about what makes me who I am.
In my last blog post, I told you about my friendships I seemingly like to burn.
Today, I just feel like I have to wallow.
I'm in the middle of some life changes.
First, I dropped out of college because of my mental health. I was so stressed, what with my job and trying to juggle that and school. And school wasn't really what I was looking for. I started panicking that if I were to continue on with my Creative Writing degree, I wouldn't have a good job getting out of college. And then I started really freaking out. So I just dropped out.
Second, I'm really starting to loathe the dating world. It's like everything that I do, I can't do right with the people I go on dates with. One person got so offended by the idea that I don't like having my picture taken that they freaked out and called me a lying bitch. Like, you were literally on a face-to-face date with me and you call me a bitch because you're not sure I am who I say I am. Hold on, let me peal back my mask like
Third, I feel stagnant in my own life. People in my life tell me that I have depression, but I haven't seen anyone for my issues, so I don't know if that's true. All I know is that getting up and going to work is difficult. When I don't have to work, I won't get out of bed. I can't find my passion in writing anymore. I mean, I know I have a passion for writing, I just can't seem to get that passion onto the paper. I don't know, I probably sound like a whiny teenager, even though I'm 21.
Fourth, onto the real reason I created this blog. I feel like people are just stabbing me in the back. I can't seem to do anything right without being stabbed in the back. In my second to last blog, I mentioned how I feel like such an outsider at my work, and every time I mention anything, it gets misconstrued against me, and then people use that dumb information I gave them to fuck me over. I'm just so done with people, and I'm so done with people who want to know me just to fuck me over.
TL:DR: I'm Redskull who's got issues like Judy Hopps, and I'm just LIVING THE DREAM!!! Jesus Christ, just kill me now.