This Is Gonna Cover Quite a Bit

I like, don't even know where to start. I guess with my job.

So like, a while ago, before I took my little sabbatical, an admin position opened up at the restaurant, paperwork in the mornings and, like, everyone knew that it should have been mine. I've been there fr two years, I'm reliable, etc. etc. Even the girl who was doing it before thought that my GM would ask me. Well, another chick, one I'm actually friends with, found out about it before I did and kind of snatched it up. I was pretty miffed. It was actually one of the reasons I wanted to leave. I even talked to my boss, not rudely or anything but curiously. Like, "Why did she get it? Why didn't you come to me?" And he just told me it was because he didn't even know I wanted it, but considering everything I've done for him, I was kind of appalled.

Anyway, a different one opened up that's not as demanding. I get better hours and don't have to be up there at eight in the morning which is cool. I even get paid more, but she gets more hours. Still, I think I'm getting the better deal. Plus, it deals with a lot of money which I guess proves that they trust me. It's just Friday, Saturday, Sunday gig. I go in to serve late, but I stay later than almost everyone else. I've been getting out at like 2:30 in the morning on Fridays and Saturdays since we close at midnight.

So yeah, I feel a little better. I know our area manager said we need it, but part of me thinks that they gave it to me because I asked about the other one and then left. Then I think about it and, like, they don't have anyone else to do it. They even want a second person, so that I can take some weekends off (which I don't even really wanna do because that's where I make my money anyway). But yeah, it's pretty okay. Should be able to cover my truck note which is gonna be nice.

Moving on.

Last Sunday I went to the bar after work with a couple of co-workers, the ones I talked about in my last blog. Coty was smart enough to not come over this time, but I did dance with Pedro. Really, I was his back up because his little squeeze was a little too drunk, but it was really fun even though I don't have any rhythm. At all. Plus, he's the one I'm a teensy bit into. Anyway, I had a couple of drinks, it was a good time. But of course, when I went to leave, I got a lovely little text like, "I'm glad you had a good time. Enjoy Pedro," from the ex and I'm just soooo tired of it. I don't really know why I haven't blocked his number yet. Maybe I'm worried something will happen to him. Maybe it's 'cause I know he doesn't have anyone else. After yet another circular argument, though, he said he'd delete my number and we haven't talked since then. I'm nearly positive any time I go to the bar, he'll end up wanting to talk afterward, though. He even said some crap about how he didn't want our friends to keep having to choose between us and like... One, they don't. Two, if he wants to come and socialize with us, I'm cool with it. I won't be super friendly or anything, but I'll be civil. I'll put into the conversation and stuff. But I told him I do not want him touching me. At all. Last time we had to interact there, he touched my hair and hugged me and it made my stomach churn. And I told him this.

I'm just so ready for him to get over himself, dude. Like, UGH.

I've been talking to guys on Tinder and stuff but every time I get close to meeting up with one for drinks or something, I end up flaking. Like, it'll sound good one night and then the day rolls around and it's like... I don't really wanna do this.

And part of the reason is because this new chick started at work and like... I think I kind of have a crush on her. We talk quite a bit at work. Today we exchanged numbers and instagram usernames and said we would hang out soon. Only thing is, I'm not totally sure she's into girls. Like, I get the vibe, but I'm not 100% and I'm not ready to ask her or anything. Her insta doesn't have any guys all over her or anything, though, and she just kind of holds herself like she might possibly be gay. I DON'T KNOW THOUGH. I haven't had a real crush on a girl in a long time. Like, I appreciate girls and all, but I'm super picky about them and I've only ever fooled around with them, never dated. It's a little confusing, but I've identified as pansexual for a while now and considered myself bi before I knew what pan was. Like, before middle school basically. I have a preference for guys, but every once in while, a girl comes around and it's like WOAH. So hopefully we'll hang out soon and I can get a better feel for her. She always wants to talk at work, though. Like today, she kept wanting to go outside with me since it was super pretty and we were hella slow. I don't know. I get major vibes and another girl does too, but some girls are just kind of confident and masculine so only time will tell.

That's my life right now. I'm trying to get inspired to write again, but I also wanna read these books I got the other day. Hopefully tonight I'll do a little of both since I don't go in until six tomorrow.