Why Am I So Angry Around This Time of Year? + End of the Semester

Current Song: "Poprocks and Coke" by Green Day

Y'all. I've been so angry lately and I'm not exactly sure why.

It was like this last year. For some reason I had a lot of pent up rage but if you were to ask me why I was so angry, I didn't actually have a reason.

I've been waking up infuriated with no particular reason these past few days. Usually I simmer down but then something small happens and I'm pissed off all over again. And when I say small, I mean small. Someone could say hello and I'm pissed.

Lately it's been my roommate who has been heightening my anger. She keeps suggesting I live in Madison for the summer even though I told her 10+ times I don't have the money to do so. I talk about looking for new jobs and she keeps suggesting I work at the dining hall even though I've told her 10+ times I cannot work with food. Working with other people's food freaks me out for reasons I don't even know about.

I had another therapy session yesterday which kind of tipped my mood so I decided to take a nap when I got back. My roommate was in the room and I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. Next thing I know, an hour later I'm waking up to someone pounding on the door. My roommate was no longer in the room so I figured it was her. I opened the door and almost immediately she's screaming at me, "Why did you lock me out?"

Me: "I didn't."

Roommate: "Then why didn't you answer my text messages?!"

Me: "I was sleeping?"

She continued to scream at me for a while so I looked at my phone. Sure enough there was a text asking if I locked her out or if she did it herself. I was sleeping when she left the room so I'm not sure why she assumed I got up off the futon and locked her out for no reason. Clearly I was still sleeping when she got back since she had to bang on the door just to get my attention. I think she meant to latch the door open and just forgot to. But she continued to blame me and I got so fed up that I gathered my stuff and left the room. So that ticked me off the rest of the day.

Roommate also keeps asking about medication whenever I'm holding a bottle. Last night I was reading the information about Aleve to see if it helps cold symptoms. Because it doesn't I put it back where I found it. My roommate asked what the rattling was and I told her and she suspiciously asked me how many I took. When I said none, she said, "Okaaaay, Just making sure."

Me for the rest of the night: ???

Then this morning she woke me up at 6 AM screaming my name. I think at one point I told her to shut up and curled back into my ball. She practically threw a box of tissues at me and ordered me to blow my nose. Apparently I've been snoring because my nose is stuffed up. It was 6 in the fucking morning and blowing my nose would've just made everything worse so I refused. Then for 30 minutes I listened to her go, "Dom. Dom. Dom. DOM. Blow your nose. Do it. Blow your nose. Dom. Dom. Dom." I think she eventually got the hint that I wanted to be left alone because I heard a long, hefty sigh and she took the box of tissues off my bed.

I get snoring can be annoying, but do you know how many nights I couldn't get to sleep because of her snoring, talking in her sleep, thrashing about in bed, and her constant snoozing of alarms? Plenty.

She eventually went back to bed. I was the one who got up and ready for the day first. While I was doing work I started counting the amount of times she snoozed her alarm. Twenty. I got up to twenty times.

At this point I'm glad she's away doing whatever and I currently have the room to myself. I don't want to project my anger on her so I'm trying to avoid her as much as possible. As the day went on, my annoyance was no longer because of her. I was annoyed for no reason, and then I got more annoyed because I was annoyed. It's a never ending cycle.

In other news, the end of the semester is finally here. It's finals week and I can go home soon. I'm ready for all of this to be over with. I really do love my roommate. She's a great friend. But I'm ready to go back to having my own room.