So, I have been hella stressed for a couple of weeks. Mostly about money. That's always what I stress out about. And it's like, I would be okay if I would just stop spending it, but man is it hard. And like, I know that I make enough to cover my bills, especially with the help from my dad, but I just freak out until said bills are paid. Also, I thought I was going to need new tires for my truck and, like, I don't have that kind of money right now.
I borrowed some money from my mom, though. A big thing was that I had to pay off a way overdue phone bill for a cancelled account. Like, it was getting bad. I know that my credit score took a big hit. It had to have.
Anyway, the other night, I was just thinking about all the money I don't have and then I was reading into the new healthcare bill that they're trying to pass and I just worked myself up and had a panic attack. It's been a long time since I've had one. I did manage to calm down after a while. Then my mom got up and we talked for a while and I ended up freaking out again and she had to talk me down again. I stayed shaky for the rest of the day. I worry so much and she just has to remind me that whatever happens, we will get through it and I am so thankful to have the family that I have. I know that not everyone has such a strong support group.
Moving onto happier things: so like, I redownloaded Tinder after the breakup. And I talked to some guys and met up with one just for drinks and it was okay, but we obviously weren't into it 'cause neither of us texted the other afterward. I deleted it. Redownloaded it. Deleted it again. Redownloaded it. And then I matched with this one guy who lives, like, forty-five minutes away and from his profile, he seems kind of nerdy, but like, so am I.
So we started talking and just kept on. Like, non-stop conversation. And we have soooooo much in common. Books and music and overall personality. Only, he's super smart and, like, actually put it to use in school which I so did not.
So, we finally met up tonight. It was very middle school. We went to the mall and drank coffee in the Barnes and Noble and walked around and talked for, like, five hours. I was so afraid that it was gonna be awkward 'cause that's how it is most of the time, but it wasn't. No awkward silences or anything. It was more like we almost kept talking over each other because our brains were working so fast.
Anyway, I ran into Sephora to get a mask and like, he bought it for me??? And I am totally not used to that in the least bit. Especially on a first date. But I thanked him profusely and when we did end up parting ways (no kissing. too early) we started texting again and have been ever since. He plays guitar and we were talking about favorite songs (pretty much all by bands that we both like) and we got on the subject of Green Day. I told him how 'Last Night On Earth' was probably the most romantic song to me and he didn't really comment on it and we kept talking and then he sent me this little video of him playing the intro to it and like... y'all. y'all... I legit got butterflies. You know when the last time that happened was? Like when Coty and I FIRST started dating. Like...
It was real.
Anyway, I'm really excited. We just vibe really well together. And he's a little odd but so am I. We have that whole ex-emo kid wallflower thing going on. College kids trying to recover from that hahaha.
Anyway, I just needed to squeal about it. We're supposed to see a movie next Monday and I'm really excited. It's been a long time. And like, I don't want to jump the gun, but SHOULD THINGS PROGRESS, I know he's the type of guy that my friends and family will like. He's actually more my normal "type". Coty was sort of an anomaly. Not even sort of. He was totally an anomaly. So, it feels good getting back on track.
Yeah.
Not registered?
Create an account