I think I owe it to myself to write this and talk about this in a space where I won't be judged, and no one really knows me in order to actually judge me. A place where no one really knows about my transgressions.
I'm one of those people that believes or likes to believe that one can be happy without a man, and I preach it day and night and to anyone that will listen.
So, why is that, I am not happy?
If that's what I believe why in the back of my mind do I think that someone is going to come along and thaw this icy exterior that I have on. Someone is going to come and mend my soul and heart and make me believe in love again.
I was never crazy about men, and I let one in. Just one and he proved me right. Now, I usually LOVE being right..but this was the one time, I really truly, with the entirety of my heart and soul, wished I was not.
Anyways, I'm off topic; so when will I realize self-actualization? I need to get this thought that someone is going to come along, because he is not.
Men are trash. They all are at one point or another, they take time to show their colors but eventually they all do, and they are all the same. You'd be a fool to think otherwise.
They all cheat, and they all are f*cking scum.
Angry? Oh yes, I am.
But I also believe when I do truly after the countless mantras I tell myself, and the standards I hold myself to, reach self actualization. When I realize I truly need no one, no man to be happy or complete.
I will be absolutely, f*cking invincible.
And powerful, and no one can stop me.
P.S. This is for another post, but the media and society indoctrinates these thoughts of not being enough alone, needing a man, so women can not realize that they are and can be unstoppable without one.
A woman who knows her worth, and can be alone, is to be feared.
I love it. And I will be it. Inshallah.