Random Rant

You ever have that one really horrible friend, where you see their true colors showing over the course of the 4 years you've known each other? Well I sure have had that glorious experience.

I have this ex friend who uses me as a convenience all the time. We met 4 years ago on her 17th Birthday, all was great and we became instant besties. We hung out everyday, we slept over each other's houses every weekend, we were like sisters, she was my ride or die, I would have literally died for her if it meant she'd live a happy life, cos that's the type of friend I am. But over the last couple years, this girl has become every persons nightmare. She became someone you'd never wanna be friends with, and it sucks because she was all I had. I was alone, and I barely had friends, and I knew I could count on her to be there for me when I needed her, but than she met new people and suddenly I was the outcast, the ugly duckling who she got bored of. She saw a lioness and decided to chase after that instead, and found out she'd rather get mixed in with the wrong crowd over sticking with me, someone who got her out of bad experiences because she'd always get herself in messed up situations she couldn't get out of, and that's where I came in to pull her out.

Drugs became her best friend, alcohol, sleeping around, the older she got the more ballsy she became and only wanted me around when there was no one else to satisfy her. I couldn't buy her what she wanted and I couldn't give her the things she needed like everyone else could, therefore I was the last person she wanted to be around and really, it broke my heart to pieces, considering I had went above and beyond to make sure she didn't get herself in trouble, and made sure she was safe on those nights she was too fucked up to go home, so I had to walk her home, and it was awkward for me but I didn't care cos she was my best friend, but now it looks as though her ego is bigger than her heart. I know she isn't a terrible person on the inside, I know deep down she can be wonderful, but her rebellious phase has come out in full force and I can't stop it anymore, we don't speak anymore, she found her new buddies to chill with, the only time she wants anything to do with me is when she's bored and has no one else to chill with, why do I deserve that? I don't, all I could do was walk away and she didn't like that, and when she doesn't get her way she turns into an immature bitch who blames everything on me like it was my fault. Well news flash, Bitch, it's not. I deserve better.

At least I still have my books and my writing skills, those are the two things that make my life way better. Thanks for reading my rant, if you ever dealt with this, I'm sorry. No one deserves to be used that way, from a friend, lover, whoever.

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