Anger

I've been getting really angry lately and bent out of shape on the littlest of things and I honestly don't know what to do about it. Usually I'm good at rationalizing things and have the patience of a nun, but lately...it's just not happening.

It's not even during logical times. Today at the gym my boyfriend wanted to show me a new workout routine. I haven't been following a workout routine and he's been suggesting finding one to me and he found one that he wanted me to try out. Getting out of the car he mentioned something about my stomach pudge. I've struggled with an eating disorder in the past and since recovery I've had some weight gain, specifically in my midsection. He's been trying to eat healthy and go to the gym everyday, so I've tried adapting a healthy lifestyle as well. Usually I let it roll of my shoulders. Not today. Today I dragged my feet through his new routine, I was so pissed. Who are you to be telling me what to do? Who are you to judge me about my weight? Screw your opinions. And by the end of it he was really sad about what I've done and the snarky comments I had been making. He said me not doing things he wanted to try has been an ongoing problem in our relationship. I told him "You're not about to guilt trip me. Whatever is happening right now, I'm shutting down. I don't care. We're not doing this."

Snotty, right?
Came home, I felt like crap about doing what I did and saying what I said.

The other day it was over wires...
No, humans aren't the only ones that are feeling my wrath. I've been slowly trying to clean up the house because it's a pig sty and I wanted to move the television set and stand. I got so pissed because of all the wires jumbled up behind the computer, I felt like picking the whole damn thing up and throwing it across the room. I literally almost saw red. I'm not like this, not at all.

These are the kind of things my parents would do, and I've moved away from. I don't understand why after all of these years they're starting to resurface again. Maybe it has something to do with my depression, I'm not sure.