From That Time When We Were Close Entry #5, #6 and #7

5.
Everyday is a hazy blur. I feel like I'm going through the motions feeling no emotion. I'm numb and feel nothing. I feel that my life has no meaning and it's pointless. I don't know what to do with myself and I feel empty.

6.
Sometimes there's that one person who means the world to you...but sometimes...they won't be with you because you refuse to help yourself. You refuse others help...you refuse to be fixed. That can be emotionally draining...that is why you don't have him...

7.
We got off to a rough start. It was mostly me and my big mouth. I told him I loved him... He didn't exactly feel the same... He distanced him self for a few weeks... It felt like forever and I hated it. And of course it did no good. He was the one who had to make an effort and see me again... It's been 3 weeks now... We've only seen each other once... I miss him... But he said I had to respect his decision... So... As much as I hate it... I don't have a choice...
He said it...what I've been dreading to hear this whole time...he said he enjoyed the time away from me...it hurts...I don't want to deal...yet I have to...