Coming of Age or Whatever (Also Gushing)

So, I guess I'm, like, almost a grow-up now. I've been key managing for a few weeks now. It's alright. I like it better than serving because it cuts down on table time, like I don't really have to talk to guests and if I do, it's usually just. "Everything taste okay? Good!" So that's cool. 'Cause small talk is not my forte and tips kind of ride on that a lot.

Also, steady paycheck. That's super cool, too. It's not a ton of money. More than I was making before. But since I get it every two weeks, it's so much easier to budget.

And like people actually listen to me when I tell them to do stuff (I always say please) and people have told me that our shifts run smoothly when I'm there. They like that I'm fresh out of serving, so I know the struggles.

The hours are not awesome. I'm working fifty hours a week. Ten hour shifts, five days a week. But I never get out super late anymore. And I used to work that much anyway back as a host and when I first started serving. Honestly, both of those are way more demanding than what I do.

So yeah.

Moving on.

My vacation is coming up. My mom, her parents, and I are going to Niagara Falls. We're all pretty excited. Most of the vacations I've been on with all of them usually go wrong in some way, but it usually leaves us with some good stories. Wonder what'll happen this time. The only thing I'm not really looking forward to is being away from Michael for that long.

Who is doing great. We both are. We're doing great together. It's weird dating someone who's so fucking similar to me. Like, we have the same thought process on most things. We can finish each others sentences. It's the first time I've been able to just sit and read with someone at night. We're into all the same things. I've even gotten him into Buffy, which is super cool because it's my favorite show in the entire world (I'm thinking about getting another tattoo, bigger than the stake behind my ear). It's getting me back into the show, too. Like, anyone who hasn't watched it, do yourself a favor and blow through the seven seasons. I've also finally started reading the comics which are amaaaaaazing. I JUST LOVE THE SERIES.

Ehem. So yeah. He gets along with my mom and my brother, which is so nice because my ex didn't really like either of them (especially my brother). Like, they can nerd out and talk computers and gaming. It's really nice. Collin (brother) even invites us out sometimes. Super weird. We all hung out with another friend of mine and just played Mario Kart on the Switch and ate pizza. It was perfect. Being with Michael is perfect. He can be clingy sometimes, but so can I. My last relationship kind of hardened me a bit. I'm not used to being the center of someone's attention. I'm not used to being doted on all the time. And it's so great, but sometimes I need my space, you know?

But yeah. We're going to see Styx at the end of this month and he got us a hotel room and stuff. We've already had sex (it took us a month), so it's not like that'll be the big romantic rose petal night or anything, but it'll be the first time we have a night to ourselves and won't have to worry about family being in the next room over.

And, going into some NSFW: The sex is good. There's an emotional connection which is really different for me, but it's like... it's obvious that he's only been with one other person. And that's fine. Like, we have nothing but time to get used to each other's wants and needs. (His oral game is STRONG THOOOOO)

The ex kind of made me realize now unimportant sex is to me, though, which is unfortunate for Michael, but he's told me so many times that, like, he's totally fine with just lying around and reading or watching Hulu or whatever. He's also a little scared that he hurts me when we have sex, which he doesn't, but I've come to find that I have a... I don't know how to put this delicately... small vagina. It's shallow and it doesn't stretch a ton. Like, putting regular sized tampons is uncomfortable sometimes. All of this means that I bleed easily, so even when I enjoy sex and stuff, I still spot afterward and that makes him nervous. He's told me so many times that we don't have to have sex if it hurts me. Like, he's so fucking kind that it hurts. It physically hurts my heart because one, I know his ex took full advantage of that, of him. Two, I'm not used to being treated like a princess and that's exactly how he treats me.

I don't think we're moving fast at all, but it's just because I'm stopping myself from being dumb. We've been dating for almost three months (only two if you're going by Facebook official, but we started talking with the intention of being together) and like... I already want to drop the 'L' word sometimes. I've already looked at engagement rings and wedding dresses. I can see such a great future with him. And he doesn't want kids which is so great. We're on the same page about everything. I just want to fast forward a couple of years and see where we're at 'cause like... I'm pretty sure this is the guy. This is the one.

I asked my mom one night how she knew that she and my dad were going to get married and she said that she kind of knew within a couple of months of them dating just because she was so comfortable. Everything was easy with him. I mean, I don't know how much I should rely on that anecdote considering they got divorced twenty-two years later, but still. They had a good run. And Michael and I have waaaaaaay more in common than my mom and dad ever did. My mom is so stoked for us. Like, I've heard her brag on the phone to one of her friends about how great my boyfriend is.

It's great. Life is just really good right now. It's a lot of working, but it's worth being able to come home and hang out with Michael and Buffy and my dog.

How's everyone else doing?
How did you know you were in love with your SO or any of your big exes?
July 13th, 2017 at 05:13am