Deleted Social Media and Feel a Lot Better

A few weeks ago (I think - actually, I'm not totally sure how long ago it was and I don't care) I deleted all my "social media," meaning facebook, tumblr and instagram. I have attempted to leave all these sites at one time or another but I still went back eventually. I actually kind of "missed" them when I deleted in the past. But now, I feel no desire whatsoever to return and I'm very happy with this decision. I can't see myself ever returning to these websites/apps.

At first, I was weary of whether I should do it or not. Like I said, in the past, deleting my accounts hadn't had the effect that I'd wanted. I don't think I was ready. I still had the same mindset, and so simply deleting the accounts changed nothing. But this time, my mindset had changed prior to deleting. My mindset just didn't match up to someone who had a purpose for having such accounts anymore. I wouldn't really call it maturity, because it was more like I fell back more into being my true self than anything else. And who I am at my core has no use for these sites.

I'm not saying that people who like having social media or benefit from it are stupid or superficial either. They're just different from me. People are inherently different; we have different souls, purposes, interests, experiences, etc. obviously, and therefore there are very few things that will have the same effect on all of us.

I think it's a lot more complicated than saying that social media (or a lot of things, for that matter) are either completely good or bad. During different periods of our lives, things can either affect us negatively or positively. There are a lot of different factors to consider when it comes to things like this.

Since I deleted, I've felt a more "whole" sense of idenity. Although I never had a particularly large following online, especially in recent years, I felt some kind of responsibility to "explain" myself on these websites. To an extent, I felt a need to prove myself. But mostly, I had this feeling of pressure to accurately express/represent myself. I felt like my identity was, in a way, grounded online. I felt a sense that I needed to have some kind of cohesive image to portray.

It was like I had two identities, really. I felt like I had this identity online, and then one in real life, but neither of them were real or whole. The truth is that the entirety of a person can't be expressed on these websites. And I, personally, don't want to be involved in anything where I'm minimized to just an inaccurate, hollow, fake version of myself. That's how these sites made me feel.

I only want to exist where I can be whole, where the real and complete me can be seen. I think the real life, fully expressed version of myself is the best. I think online I come off as kind of a dick. I have an odd personality and it can't really reflect onto the internet.

This is probably true about most people, but I think they see it in the opposite way. They think that they can be more attractive online than irl. For some people, that might actually be true. And the truth is, there's probably a lot of benefit to that nowadays. A lot of people meet their lovers and make their living online, for example. If you can make yourself more attractive and compelling online, that can work to your benefit.

This definitely doesn't apply to me, though. I am the type of person who is always joking around, smiling, laughing, and I have a strange sense of humor. I'm a very nice and sensitive person. And, over all, my personality isn't the type that can be seen fully online at all. Someone would have to meet me to understand me.

I just felt so stifled on those sites, trying to explain myself all the time and constantly being argued with, being constantly bombarded with politics and everyone's opinion on every useless little thing... I really began to find people so annoying, and this is really bad for my mental health. When I start feeling that hatred for people, I feel so isolated, depressed, anxious, and alone.

And in reality, people aren't so bad. But I think almost anyone would come off as annoying if you're having to read a daily stream of their most intense thoughts. Real life social interactions are more lighthearted and fun, and when serious topics come up we aren't so heated and quick to judgment. That's why, in my opinion, it's a lot better.

Another benefit, of course, is that I've been able to focus on more productive things. Even though I haven't actually done anything all that important, I've been spending my time on much more interesting things. This, in itself, is getting me back in touch with my identity as well. When you spend all your free time on these websites desperately trying to express yourself, you realize that eventually there is nothing left to express because all that you are, really, is a product of these websites. That's really sad.

But like I said, I think that a lot of people probably benefit or are at least not harmed by using social media. I'm just sharing this to explain my personal experience with leaving these websites. I just don't want people to feel limited, like they have to be a part of these sites, or confined to the goings-on of such sites. As human beings we're so much more than that, and there's so much more to experience. There's a lot more substance to reality than to the internet.

Also, I think that relationships that form irl are usually superior to those formed online. We feel a deeper sense of loyalty to these people, and our connection to them is much more grounded irl. We meet them in a natural and real setting, and we get to know them for who they really are instead of what they may portray themselves as, accurately or inaccurately.

The main effect that social media has on the user is that they become plugged into a stream of information along with the other users of the particular site or application. The users of the site are then exposed to the same content, which eventually skews their worldview. In the end, it really limits their perception. They feel that this content they're exposed to is reflective of reality, and it closes them off from experiencing the more rich, nuanced (and more accurate) world around them.

This can lead the user to experiencing black and white thinking, and to becoming more of an extremist when it comes to their ideology. The problem is that people who feel that the world around them is unsubstantial are attracted to the internet, which seems more enticing and interesting. These people are more likely to fall victim to the influence of others, and it also prevents them from trying to better their own lives. I used to be like that, but now that my life is more full (materially and spiritually) I no longer feel the need to rely on the internet for enrichment. And I think for depressed people who feel alone or empty, it would be a lot healthier to try to better themselves and their lives in reality instead of using social media as a crutch.

P.S. I don't count a website like this one in the social media category because we're actually fully expressing ourselves here. I think that participation in sites like this can actually be healthy and helpful for people feeling emotionally deprived.