Life Is Weird

I feel like whenever I feel like I can settle down, someone pulls the metaphorical rug out from underneath me.

Just work shit, man. I was key managing for a while, which was cool because money, but it was kind of temporary only that was presented to me in like... verbal small print. Basically, we've been training a new floor manager and she's about to get out of training and once that happens, they don't need me as a manager anymore.

There are definitely going to be some perks like less hours and less stress, but I'm choosing to go back to hosting rather than serving. It'll be a bit less money (though, I'm about to be the highest paid host those motherf***ers have ever seen). And I'm good at it. I shine up there. I just don't like being batted around like I always am. It was a fight to move from hosting to serving. They kept me in a limbo for a while. And then it was another fight to move from serving to keying. They fucked with my pay for a good month and a half. At least as a host, I have, like, an idea of how much I'll make.

And whenever other managers go on vacation and stuff, they'll call me back to the position. I kind of did it to myself 'cause I was really up front about not wanting to go into the actual management program 'cause like... No. I can't do this shit for the rest of my life lol. But yeah. I know I should look for a new job. I know it's not right, the way they just keep jerking me around. My GM tries to help me out. He really does. There's an admin position that this other girl has and she's one fuck-up away from getting fired or quitting and once she does, he said it was mine. So that's nice, I guess.

It's whatever. It's all probably worse because all of this happened like right when I went on vacation and now I'm back and just don't want to be there.

We went to Niagara Falls, my mom and her parents. It was beautiful. New York wasn't (I hate New York. I really do. I've been twice and it just grosses me out. Also, people are really rude. Sorry not sorry.) But CANADA... Oh my god, it was amazing. I want to go back. It was so clean. There's little gardens everywhere. Everyone is super nice. And the falls were incredible, of course. It was good quality time with my family, too.

Michael and I are doing well. His birthday is coming up. I'm super excited. I think I did good on his presents. We've both dropped the L word (he did before me). It's been a kind of rough week just because I've been having a hard time. I've been pretty down. I'm waiting for my neurologist to call me back with blood test results so that we can adjust the dosage of my medicine since it's a mood stabilizer. I've just been all over the place in terms of emotions. But Michael has been... So, so supportive. I don't know what I did to deserve him.

Finally, I'd like to close with the fact that I'm writing this on a brand new HP Pavilion 360 and it is so gorgeous. I just got it tonight and I've been playing with it for hours. I wish I had the energy to actually like write, but I just don't. I'm off tomorrow, though, so maybe then. I felt like an adult buying it. Because I got it and it didn't actually wipe my account clean hahahaha.

Alright, I hope everyone is doing well. I have a contest story in the works. It's coming along slowly but surely. I'll get something out one of these days.