Best Day of my Life

It’s been almost four months since I gave birth. It's been over a year since I found out I was pregnant. And even after all this time, being a mother still seems so surreal to me.

My daughter, Samantha Gayle, is my reason for living and breathing. She is my smile, my heart, and my whole world. The day that she came into the world, was the day that my whole world changed. My world no longer revolved around the sun. My center of gravity shifted entirely, and she became the center of my world. My very reason for just, being.

I remember the day that I gave birth like it was yesterday. I was induced because my pain in the ass princess decided she wanted to be a week overdue. They then broke my water an hour later, and let me tell you, nothing can prepare you for that. I didn't cry, but boy, did I want to. Breaking my water induced contractions faster than I could say, “Supernatural”. But once that was done, we were on the go. I was contracting and dilating and effacing, all while watching ‘Supernatural’. I remember as my contractions got worse, I looked at the television while telling my husband, “I wish Cas would lay his angel mojo on me and take this fucking pain away.”

My nurse, Gabbi, was wonderful. She constantly came in to check on me and talk me through the pain. She and my husband both held my hand, telling me that I was doing great. Until I stalled.

I stalled at 5 cm dilated and 60% effaced. And Samantha was being stubborn. And my contractions were getting worse. They were one right after the other, right on top of each other. They took my breath away and made me very lightheaded.

Finally, I asked Gabbi for my epidural. However, I had to wait as two patients before me were still waiting as well. She had told me it would be about an hour. I nodded and told her I could wait as I wheezed through a contraction. I didn't mind having to wait my turn, I just wanted some damn sleep. I had stayed up almost all night the night before because I was so excited, and I was tired.

An hour passed, and Gabbi came back in. I could hear a woman screaming in pain a few rooms over, and the look on her face told me that something was wrong. She asked me if I could hear the woman screaming. When I said yes, she explained to me that she would need an emergency cesarean section, and that I would have to wait even longer for my epidural. Now, instead of being mad or frustrated, I asked Gabbi if she would be alright! I was more worried about a stranger than my own pain. She looked genuinely surprised that I asked that, but assured me that she would be okay. She then promised that after the other woman had her c-section, that she would come in with the anesthesiologist so I could have some ‘good pain drugs that make ya go numb’, as she called it.

After twelve hours, I finally got my epidural. And let me tell you, that was worse, so much worse, than when they broke my water. I wanted to cry, so very badly, but I didn't. Gabbi just held my held, as my husband wasn't allowed to at that time, and told me that I was doing great. The anesthesiologist, Mike, told me that I had done wonderfully, stating that most, if not all, women cry when they get their epidural.

Finally, after the medicine kicked in, I was able to get some rest. As did my husband. But, too soon, the nurses came in, telling us that it was time to push!

Now, at this point, my sleep addled brain didn't quite comprehend. So, as the nurses put my feet in the stirrups, my knees touching my chest, that was when it dawned on me. I was about to meet my daughter.

Thirty-five minutes later, a squalling little pink thing was being placed on my chest. And after hours of pain, I finally, FINALLY, cried. I cried because I had finally met my beautiful daughter. I cried tears of utter joy and happiness. My baby girl, my rainbow baby, was finally in my arms. I could hear her and see her. I could touch her and feel her. And at last, my family was complete. My little Peanut came out weighing seven pounds and four ounces and she was twenty and a half inches long. She had ten fingers and ten toes and a head full of hair and by God, she was, is, perfect.

I always told myself that I would never have kids, but after my miscarriage, and then giving birth to Samantha, I could never see my life without her. She is my sun and moon and stars. I love my Peanut.