October!

I see everyone on the interwebz getting hella excited about October because cold weather! Sweaters! Halloween! Hot chocolate! And I'm over here sitting on a salted cod, drinking wine and eating bread with chorizo, a poster of Cristiano Ronaldo and a figurine of Jesus up on my wall and I'm thinking

Wow. Y'all wild. It's THIRTY SIX DEGREES. Celsius. That's 97°F according to Google. I went outside to take out the trash and fried an egg on the asphalt. If I wore a sweater I would cook myself in my own sweat. Hmmm tastes like chicken.

There is no Halloween in this country either. If I put a costume, people will laugh at me. I can't go ask for sweets, either. I JUST WANT MINIATURE MARS BARS! It's not socially acceptable in my country to leave the house with zombie makeup either.

Hot chocolate? Need I remind you it's almost A HUNDRED DEGREES FARENHEIGHT????

I'm crying in the club.