I Need My Own Place

I'm so tired guys. I had work at 6 this morning and slept like complete crap last night. For some reason my job has been stressing me out, and it doesn't help that my mom/living situation really stresses me out. It's to the point where I really don't even want to come home after work. She doesn't even realize she's making it hard for me either, and whenever I bring up anything regarding what's bothering me she turns it around and makes herself the one with the problem.

My plan wasn't to be living with her. But life happens and plans change. We have to adapt. I've been trying super hard to keep my shit together, but my mom just... it's her apartment, she pays for it, yeah yeah yeah. I'm her son though, her only child that doesn't ask for anything other than a place to live. I buy the damn groceries every week. And I get that she feels like it's not her place anymore, but it's not like it's mine. I sleep in a corner of the living room - barely have a space for my clothes. She has her entire room, she has the entire damn living room (which she stays in until 10:30-11 at night even if I have to work AT 6 IN THE MORNING) and insists that she's being quiet.

I just... I'm fucking tired. The glare of the TV screen bothers me, her getting up and getting stuff from the kitchen every half an hour bothers me, and half the time she's not as quiet as she thinks she is because she talks to herself under her breath.

My plan was to move in with my best friend thousands of miles away because I knew this wasn't a good situation for me. But again, life happens and plans change. And I miss my best friend so fucking much. I just want to talk to her, I just want to bounce ideas off her, I want to hear her voice, hear what she's up to with her own life.

I need my own place so bad, but nothing around here is affordable. The closest city/town where I could afford an apartment by myself is a little over half an hour away and it's a really bad city that I used to live in and hate.

I don't know what to do anymore. I want a damn cigarette or a drink, and I don't fucking drink because I've grown up with an alcoholic...

Somebody save me, yeah?