Just like a Movie

Just when you think my love life couldn't become more cinematic.

Okay, here's the deal. Condense version, I live in the on-campus apartments at my school. There's like a floor manager on each floor and the FM on this floor is close friends with my roommate, Cat because she's been here before, he's been here before blah blah blah. So I see him around here and there and like...he's been flirting with me. Cat pointed it out and I jokingly was like "yeah he has a crush on me" but I didn't really believe in it. Anyway, last week Cass and I went out for dinner and we got locked out and just fast forward to like, we'll call him Zayn, couldn't get us back in our apartment but we did see him later and he said he wanted to come to dinner with us the following week (today). And I just saw him around a lot this week and we talked and stuff and I got his number to tell him about the dinner plans.

Anyway, today comes and Cat doesn't feel like going out so she makes us dinner and I text him to tell him that and he seemed like he was flirting and I flat out ask him if he was and he was like "Only if it's working."

So fast forward a bit and I'm just like "Where are you? Let's talk about this in person" and he says he's in his room/apartment which is down the hall from me so I walk out my room and we talked for like an hour. Initially, it was like "Friday?" and we liked talked about him being in the military, working as a FM, and like...I kiss him.

I was his first kiss.

He's like not overly religious but strongly religious in a way he always goes to church and stuff like that and like he doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, he's saving himself until marriage.

And just...I was thinking and I backed out the date lol. I was like this isn't a no, but a to be continued. Like pursue me some more and see what happens. I kept talking about how he was an angel and so pure lol. Like he's a white cloth and I'm red wine. I really really like him as a general person and friend, but I'm very...neutral about my sexual and romantic attraction to him.

I also feel like I'm a bit too wild right now and need to figure out what I want. I also have A LOT of hands in A LOT of baskets.

Like I'm still talking to the army guy and I've been trying to date/sleep with him for a week now. I've been talking on and off with Israel since I've been back in school (even though we're just sex and he's oddly been checking in on me). Mr. Big oddly feels still open, but we'll see. Seth is still a thing in the shadows. And I just cut things off with Jared so that's done.

I think I'll just wait things out and give it time and let feelings naturally grow. I'll text him tomorrow and let him know I like him on a platonic level and let's give things time to grow and hang out as friends. I do, though, actually wanna hang out with army boy aka Channing cause he's been really cute and hot all week soooo yeah.

We'll see how my sloppy ass love life concludes lol.

Bye <3