Follow Me Into The Sea

...Drown together and immortalize you and me.

I've been listening to a lot of The Spill Canvas again. One Fell Swoop is still so good after all these years.

General life update: it's good.

I mean, I'm making pretty shit money now that I'm not key managing full time, but my quality of life is so much better. When I was doing that every week, I just had no time to do anything else. Like, work ten hours a day, come home, eat, sleep. On my days off, I usually slept the whole first one and ran errands/hung out with the boyfriend, and then it was back to work. My paychecks were good, but like... at what cost?

They still have me keying when they need me to, like when someone goes on vacation or something. My boss actually asked if I was interested in moving up into the actual management program, but I shot him down. I can't do that and go back to school, and that's what I want to do. Like, that's my big goal right now. Get back in school.

So now, working forty hours every week, less this month 'cause I've had so many plans, I'm making pretty much half of what I was making before, but like, I can hang out with friends and family. I have hobbies again.

So yeah.

When I started dating my boyfriend, he and his brother and friends were in the middle of a Dungeons and Dragons campaign. I watched them play a couple of times and was intrigued. Michael and I had already talked about me playing the next campaign they did, but all this drama happened and he doesn't play with them anymore. Just a few weeks ago, my own brother asked me about it and told me he was really interested in playing, so I was like YES. I told Michael and he said that he was totally game and that he would be able to get his brother to DM because he already has this big world that they've campaigned in before and he wants to keep moving it forward. I also asked another one of my friends to play.

So I've just been pouring myself into my character and I am so freaking stoked. It won't get started until next month, but we're meeting this Sunday to roll for stats and hash everything out, get some of the details written down. I can't wait. My big brother had some problems with creating his character, but it finally came to him today. Like, after scrapping two that he came up with at first, he finally got the inspiration and made one that he liked.

Another thing I've gotten into, or really back into is my crystals. I've also started meditating which is really, really nice. A couple weeks ago I had this big freak out. Part of it was because I just upped the dosage on my medicine and it's left my emotions running high, so I decided that I needed to find a way to calm down and be able to stay level-headed in stressful situations, so the first thing I did was start getting better sleep and the second was sitting down and taking time to medicate. For a while I was just doing guided meditation and then I had an old friend contact me on Facebook and ask if I was interested in custom Mala Beads.

If you're not familiar with them, they're prayer/meditation beads that I believe stem from Buddhism and Hinduism. Basically, it's a string of 108 beads that's like a long necklace. Some beads are wood and some are made of different gemstones. When meditating with them, you can pick a certain positive affirmation and keep repeating it like a mantra and believe me, once you get to that guru bead, after you've told yourself that, "I am worth it," or "I am beautiful," 108 times, you feel really, really good.

Anyway, the old friend asked me some questions about what I want to work on in my life and my chakras because I kind of know about them and off of those questions, she picked out what stones she was going to use and settled on Morganite, Rose Quartz, and Moonstone, and y'all... The energy that just emanates from it is amazing. I've felt so much better, about myself, about work, about other people. I've told Michael about the interest I have with all my metaphysical stuff and he's 100% supportive. It's amazing what it's like to have someone like that.

A year ago, I was in the middle of a rocky, borderline abusive relationship. I thought I was in love, and maybe I was, but that compared to where I am now... Like, I'm gonna marry this boy, and I can't wait. I'm so excited for our future while a year ago, I was with a guy who I didn't really see any future with. So much has changed.

That's about it, though. That's what's going on. I have my best friend's brother's wedding this weekend and I'm really excited and then next weekend we have Renaissance Festival and I am just SO STOKED.

Hope everyone else is doing well.
October 19th, 2017 at 05:46am