I have to admit, when I was little, I didn't really care to read books. Actually, I hated it. Hated how teachers would make me read boring books with boring plots and then write a report about what I learned. Nothing made me procrastinate more than the dread of reading a book I wasn't interested in. However, when I got into 7th grade, I was the new kid. Everyone already had their cliques of friends from years before and, even though I was a social butterfly, I felt like I didn't necessarily fit in.
That was when I started going to the library and hanging out by myself just looking through the books. I would breathe in the smell of all the thin pages glued to their paperback or hard cover spines sitting on those shelves, and get lost in it. I would walk the aisles listening to the the titles of the books sounded, whether they would roll off the tongue in a way that invited me in or pushed me away. Pulling only those that caught my attention with their bold titles. Feeling the chillingly sweet sensation of curiosity as I open that flap of a door to a new world.
Fantasies, Mysteries, Thrillers, Romances, you name it, I wanted them to sweep me away from my average lonely life. I saw their lives playing in front of my eyes like a film. Sometimes, I wasn't just watching it play out, I felt like I was there on adventures with them. Running away to far off lands of magic and wonder, falling in love, searching for the killer, and finally battling against foes who threatened the world's existence. They were my friends, my enemies, my lovers, my family. This was my world, creating images in my head that may or may not be exactly how the author wanted them, but how I wanted to see them.
In case you're wondering, I DID make friends, I wasn't lonely forever. I had relationships; good and bad ones. Reading just helped me escape from the stresses of school, family, or life in general. Though, these days lasted all the way through my senior year of high school. What was sad was, I ended up having to start my adult life. Go to college, study, go to work, put my frequent trips to the library on hold. Settling for things like online stories which, don't get me wrong, I do love. I love seeing people from all walks of life, creating their own worlds and allowing others to experience what they do. I've even done a couple myself, delving into FanFiction to keep myself entertained. However, having the physical form in my hand is just so much more satisfying to me.
The last time I got onto my Mibba account was 4 years or so ago, as I said in my latest blog. What's worse is, I haven't been able to do much reading in a while. I've occasionally looked up things on different websites and have read some Manga here and there. I haven't been to the library, nor have I written anything in a very long time. See, I'm in a relationship with a wonderful man, his 13 year old daughter living with us, and working basically every single day. I have multiple projects going on at home and dealing with jobs. Meanwhile, there has been an ache in my chest recently.
I finally, this past week, visited my local library. The smell of books hitting my nostrils, made my muscles relax from all the stress. It felt so nice to just be among the books, by myself, my own little slice of heaven. I finished two books, of decent length, over a course of 4 days with breaks here and there for work and family time. I felt pretty accomplished with myself, though also upset because of how quickly my fantasy world had faded.
Going on my third book this week already, happy to have taken the plunge back into reading books and also probably going to start writing my own stories again. Sorry, I know this was pretty lengthy. I just thought maybe getting this off my chest would possibly inspire others to think about things that they may have put on hold that made them happy, because of important (but stressful as hell) daily occurrences. Maybe, just maybe, you'll decide to pick that beautiful thing up again, brushing off the dust and paying some attention to it. You never know, it could help you in the long run.
Thanks for reading!
Godspeed and Allons-y!
~XO~
Not registered?
Create an account