Explanations:
So, I may have avoided this website, along with others for awhile due to triggers, basically, I'd log in and something would remind me of something, and yikes... Regardless I'm not dead, and I realize that might be a worry for several of my friends, understandably if you consider any of my other content here on Mibba. Anyways, I'm going to attempt posting what I've been writing on here, but besides fanfiction and One (1) original story that is me trying to write out my childhood traumas (THUS VERY TRIGGERING, but don't worry I'll be adding warnings) I don't have any real plans. you guys can find me on tumble as probably-lucifer if you want to contact me.
Life Update: So, we got rid of my stepfather, I've actually started talking to my mom about my problems for the most part (I am a Slytherin to my core, secrets are a part of how I keep my sanity.), she accepts, and is learning to understand my anxiety, depression, and ADHD (I am not certain of any of these that's why I'm not putting any f the actual forms, though PTSD seems likely I need to see a professional first before I confirm anything.), we're talking about therapy, it's a wierd argument tbh. I'm trying to go vegan because my mom refuses to buy meat, I might have a little eating disorder. Maybe. Possibly. I've started listing to whatever music I want because I'm punk rock, and part of that is not conforming to societal norms and whatnot so why would I pretend to hate Ariana Grande when I don't? Illogical. I'm dressing how I want, I'm looking into tattoos, and piercings because I will look amazing with a nose ring, and several ear piercings fight me. I'm working on loving my body, and so far so good, I even ate breakfast!! I've taken to dancing when I feel like it, and I've come up with a workout routine, but since we moved recently I need to find a gym and get a bike.
Mental Update: I still deal with Things™, but I can totally offer tips if you need it, or advice I'm actually great with advice tbh. Also, I'm probably gonna change my username soon just a little FYI. I still have panic attacks, but since I've figured out my triggers I've been a lot better. I still get depressed, but as I have plenty of mental checklists I'm usually fine, unless it's a depression trigger in which case I won't shower for a week or so which is really gross but I've come to terms with it, and I try to keep my body clean other ways so I'm moderately fine. I find that fidget cubes work really well for both my ADHD tendencies to fidget and make noises, as well as frustration from my anxiety or just frustration and/or excitement in general which is great. I'm still constantly having trouble sleeping, staying asleep, and falling asleep, but it's not always nightmares anymore so yay!
Physical Update: So, as previously mentioned I've been working out, I'm looking into yoga rn but I haven't actually done anything more than stretch. My workout is really great for me, I try to use every machine I'm interested in for an entire song, and then I walk and varying speeds on a treadmill as well for 15 to 20 minutes. I've lost good weight doing this and eating healthily and regularly. Recently I haven't been able to work out much, nor have I been eating well. I am aware, and I acknowledge this. Also, every time I stand I feel a little dizzy so there's that, but other than that I am fine. Not including the cold spells that are really weird but I digress.
Summary: I'm doing better then I was in some places, and worse in others but it's okay because I'm working on it.
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