To the Woman Who Was Supposed to Become My Primary Mother Figure: an Open Letter

These open letters are just going to mainly become a series for me because this is now the fourth one I've done, but this one is a little more important than the others. Instead of it being a person I never met, a person I dated for four years, or someone who used me for a span of a year, this one is about someone I met at a very young age, who was supposed to be a woman I saw as a mother figure.

I will warn you guys, this one is probably going to get a little long. As per usual, I'm not here to insult the person, I'm just here to let off a bit of steam and more or less call the person out on the things they've done to me and why I see those actions as bad.

Thank you all for reading.

Other Open Letters:

To the Girl That Broke My Boyfriend's Heart
To the Boy Whose Heart I Broke
To the Man I Cheated With

To the Woman Who Was Supposed to Become My Primary Mother Figure:

We met when I was a very young age, five, to be exact. Being that young, and the fact that my parents divorce hadn't even finalized yet, I saw you invading into my life. I was still only a young child, so at the time, the memories of my mom and dad being together were still fresh in my mind, even though nothing of that remains today at nineteen.

When you and my dad started dating was when we began to clash heads. You spent a lot of time at our house and you never failed to bring over your two year old son, who just also happened to be six months older than my sister. You began to change things in our life, and I wasn't used to change. I didn't like you, you set something off inside me that I didn't like, and of course, I wanted my mom and dad to be back together, even though I now understand why their divorce was inevitable.

I do remember a certain set of words my father spoke to me when you two were dating, and they were "Do you want me to be alone forever?" I was being a little hellion and him saying those words to me have scarred me for life, but that was only the first set of scars I received... There's many more now that you're reign has gone on for over fourteen years now.

When it came to you, I couldn't go to my mom about what I thought was wrong, so I went to my grandma... and it didn't take me long to learn that she didn't like you for the way you were treating her only two granddaughters. See, she never had to see her first child get a divorce because one, her and her husband didn't believe in divorce, and two, they were very happy together. My mother and father fought constantly, so that goes back to me saying their divorce was inevitable.

My grandmother though saw things in you that she didn't like. She continued to hold a dislike for you up until she passed away from cancer in 2011. Through her eyes though, she told me she saw you pushing my sister and I out of our father's life. I know now, more times than not, it was just you, my father, and your son at the house that we all shared... the reason being, you always made sure that my sister and I stayed with our grandmother across the street at every second possible.

My grandfather never really got to form an opinion on you because you were always away when he was around, and you made sure to marry my father exactly a month after he passed away in 2005... that was after my father had proposed to you after dating for less than seven months.

You two have been married for 12 1/2 years now and a lot has happened between you and I clashing heads, and I know that'll take me forever to go through every insignificant detail, so I'm just going to fly through some memories that come to my head really quickly:

I was 12 when you quit your job (the same factory where my dad works to this day), you decided to get a job a McDonald's and got fired after three days. You said it was because you couldn't see the numbers on the register; the person that I know, whose mom owns that particular franchise said that you cussed out a manager. You haven't worked a day since.

To tie into that memory, we all were living in a single income, five person family. You decided to go on shopping sprees every single week with the joint bank account that you and my father share. You'd either sell the items to a consignment shop less than a year later, or have what you call your version of a "yard sale." You tack the prices too high and then ended up donating everything to our local Goodwill... Thus making us lose hundreds of dollar in a year.... and you're still questioning why my father won't give you a debit card, or a check book for that shared account.

From having a past with your ex-husband (who you claimed was abusive; yet you were married to him for 16 years), instead of becoming the abusee, you became the abuser. You'd start by calling my father offensive names, if he wasn't around, then you'd come after me. You'd call me all sorts of foul names... and to top it all, it started when I was 10; I have nine years of emotional scarring under my belt from that.

You kicked my father, my sister, and I out of a house that wasn't in your name for three days. We lived with my grandmother. I was in the fifth grade.

You've threatened to divorce my father around your anniversary, every single year, for the past six years.

You have five million diseases which is why you can't work, but since those diseases seize to exist, you can't get disability... even though you've tried applying four times now. I'm also pretty sure you have an addiction to pain killers.

"If something happens in the house; it stays in the house," but that doesn't stop you from telling everyone in your family that I called you a not very nice word once upon a time... and it's still a nice hot topic around the holidays, six years later.

The fact that I shouldn't be taking "so many pills" for my bipolar disorder, but when I go off the walls, you yell at me to "take my medicine because I need it."

Everything is a money issue, yet you're spending the money... which is why it's an issue.

My grandmother bought two tickets to my first concert and offered to give my dad one. You butted in and said that if he was going to take me, he had to take everyone else. My grandmother ended up taking me to the concert.

And the best story of all, the day I turned 18. At 18, you got in my face and constantly harassed me. You told me that "I would never amount to anything," threatened to kick me out on multiple occasions, called me lazy and stupid, threatened to take my car because it was the only vehicle that had your name on it, refused to go to town (where I grew up) after I started college because you thought I was going to "ruin the house," broke the vacuum and then proceeded to blame it on me and told me I had to buy a new one, even though I didn't have a job at the time (I didn't buy a new one)... and so many, many more.

You know, my father has told me on multiple occasions that he'd like to divorce you, but he can't because he decided to put your name on the house and my car. Also, he has a hoard of property that you have no idea is in your name and if he divorced you, that would all come to light since he has to give you half of it. In his words, "It's cheaper to keep (you)."

Speaking of him, he's also afraid to be alone; remember how I mentioned what he said to me earlier? That's another reason why he won't leave.

But you want to know the one thing that pisses me off the most, besides the fact that you've called me more than enough emotional scarring that will haunt me for the rest of my life?

He puts you before my sister and I. He wants you to stay off his back so bad that he'll do anything to keep you happy. So, when my sister told me yesterday that you decided to turn her nearly fatal accident into a money issue, by getting into a fight with her immediately after she got home from the accident, I went into a blind rage. I was so pissed, I was going to drive up to your house and make it known to you and my father that I'm not going to take it anymore. He made my sister apologize to you after it all, so that you'd be happy.

So, I hear that you ask why I don't call you on a daily basis, after I ran away from home six months ago to live with my almost brand new boyfriend, I hope you think about every single little thing you've done to me.

Also, I know for a fact that I will be going to the Carolina Rebellion in May, and I know for a damn fact that I offered my dad one of my extra tickets. If you show up, you can forget about me speaking to you ever again because I'm not letting you get in the way of me trying to spend quality time with my father, which you've deprived me of since I was five.

So, unlike the other letters that I've wrote now, you're still a part of my life.

I hope you come to realize what you've done to me in the future... that or my father divorces you first so I can finally tell you all the wrongs.

See you at Christmas.

Kayla V