Yeah, I hid again. Sorry, Especially to you Hina, I'm back I mean it.
I just needed to clear my head a bit.
I've had a lot of negativity swirling around lately, and not just your run of the mill blackness that seems to encase me on a 24/7 basis. I've had that old nagging feeling back, the one that whispers constantly, "Your not worth the air you breathe". I'm sure everyone's had that before.
On the plus side, it mean's I've actually been able to sit down and write, albeit fan fiction, which I know isn't really in demand much lately, but it's all I have the drive to do right now. It's been rather interesting, trying to implement and shove my feelings into it, it's kind of new, putting my own emotions into my writing, but it seems to be working, so I guess I'll keep doing it.
I will admit though, I had a moment the other day when I thought I was done.
I've had such extreme emotions this month. Right now, I honestly don't know where I'm at mentally. But, I do know the black cloud is slowly fading, I'm slowly finding purpose again - Even if it's within that dark cloud. There are silver linings, and maybe I need to learn to look for them - Seek them out, Thrive in them and suffer through the rest.
All it took was a daughter's declaration of my strength, A character's tribulations, A song's lyrics and a friend's happiness.
I need to learn to live in the dark.
I just needed to clear my head a bit.
I've had a lot of negativity swirling around lately, and not just your run of the mill blackness that seems to encase me on a 24/7 basis. I've had that old nagging feeling back, the one that whispers constantly, "Your not worth the air you breathe". I'm sure everyone's had that before.
On the plus side, it mean's I've actually been able to sit down and write, albeit fan fiction, which I know isn't really in demand much lately, but it's all I have the drive to do right now. It's been rather interesting, trying to implement and shove my feelings into it, it's kind of new, putting my own emotions into my writing, but it seems to be working, so I guess I'll keep doing it.
I will admit though, I had a moment the other day when I thought I was done.
I've had such extreme emotions this month. Right now, I honestly don't know where I'm at mentally. But, I do know the black cloud is slowly fading, I'm slowly finding purpose again - Even if it's within that dark cloud. There are silver linings, and maybe I need to learn to look for them - Seek them out, Thrive in them and suffer through the rest.
All it took was a daughter's declaration of my strength, A character's tribulations, A song's lyrics and a friend's happiness.
I need to learn to live in the dark.