This is the sixth letter in the series of open letters that I'm doing. Unlike the other letters where I more or less call out people for the wrongs that they've done me, this one is a little different. This one is for my father, the man who raised my sister and I after our mother more or less abandoned us off and on throughout the years.
Yes, my father as done some wrong things and those will be mentioned in this letter, but I want to share how proud I am of him for fighting that struggles that has came his way throughout my life.
Thank you all for reading in advance.
Other open letters:
To the Girl Who Broke My Boyfriend's Heart
To the Boy Whose Heart I Broke
To the Man I Cheated With
To the Woman Who Was Supposed to Become My Primary Mother Figure
To the Woman Who Is Biologically My Mother
To the Man Who Raised Me:
You've been the one person who has seemed to stick by me from the beginning. I know a lot has happened in your life and in some small ways, the steps that I've taken to move forward in mine relate to yours in a lot of ways.
We share a similar personality of not opening up to a lot of people. We try to overcome our struggles by ourselves, not wanting to ask for help. We've stuck by our significant others through good and bad. We're hard workers, and we've got big hearts.
I don't know if I learned these traits from you, or if they were wired in my brain from the start, but I know for a fact that I'm your daughter.
The two of us have been going through some struggles in the past few years with me butting heads with your wife, her always putting you down, me running away from home twice, eventually moving out, and losing a lot of contact with you and the rest of that side of my family. Family means everything to me, and it hurts that I've sort of become a "stranger," but I've done it for good reasons because you know that your wife and I can't stand being around each other for long periods of him; if we are, things become very volatile.
Going back to the beginning though... My mother left us when I was very young; she packed up her things and disappeared for a week. When she returned, you served her the divorce papers because you two were constantly fighting and I learned later in life about her infidelity with other men online.
You brought my stepmother into my life when I was also young. You two married in 2005, not long after yours and my mother's divorce was finalized, and only a month after my grandfather's, your father's death.
I know you were afraid to be alone; I've always known that, and I know that, that's probably a key reason why you stay with your abusive wife, but you and I know very well that it's not healthy for anyone in the family. In a sense, she's one of the reasons I struggle with my depression, self esteem, and my ability to trust others because I have a fear that everyone is going to turn out like she is.
While she tried to shove me out of your life though, you tried to resist, and honestly, I'm not unhappy how things turned out. I've been living out of the house for almost five months now and since then, I've been told I look a lot healthier and I seem a lot happier because I got out of a toxic environment.
I know that you're thankful that my boyfriend came in when he did, and I know that when my ex tried to contact you, you told him to leave me alone. I think you never really liked my ex, because I've caught on to the fact that you initiate conversations with my boyfriend; something you never do with most people.
Even though you have a fear of being alone, I don't understand why you don't leave my stepmother though. I know that if there was a divorce case, she'd probably bring a lot of crap up, but honestly, I don't really know what she has to use against you. I know her name is on the house, my car, and I know you have some assets that she has little idea about, and I guess you're afraid to lose some of that. I don't know if you're planning a divorce in the future after you get her name off of my car so I don't lose that, but again, I have no idea.
I wish you'd find the courage to leave her though. I know you two have been to marriage counseling in the past, and you've tried to fix things, but a lot of things have just gradually went downhill from there. Again, she's abusive, toxic, and I still have recordings of the two of you getting into a nasty fight a few years ago; things that you told me to record.
I don't want to break the family apart since my stepbrother, sister, and I were raised together at a young age, but I'm tired of hearing from my sister that the house is a "war zone." I'm tired of worrying about when I come to the house that my stepmother is going to berate me about something new, or butt her head into something that has nothing to do with her. Even though I haven't mentioned it to you yet, I'm moving another thirty minutes away from you in the near future, and my boyfriend and I have already talked to my sister about moving in with us once she graduates from high school in 2019.
I hope you realize that your kids are distancing themselves from you because of her. We can't be around her because it isn't healthy and I know the other night that you told me not to be a stranger, but sometimes I feel like I have to be in order to be happy where I'm at in life.
I love you, Dad; I really do. I'm glad that you were the one who gained custody of my sister and I because of the basket case that my mother is, but I wish you'd realize this fault that you've caused in our relationship. I'm glad that I'll get to spend some time with you in May when you join my boyfriend, his friend, and I at the Carolina Rebellion.
I hope you see how you're the one who is able to fix things with more or less, a few papers and some court hearings.
Hopefully we'll get to talk soon.
Kayla V
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