So I'm Back

So I realize that the last thing i've posted on here was 3 or 4 years ago. A lot has happened in the past couple years. Work for one. Life's had its up and downs for me. I've taken up smoking. My biggest role model in my life, my grandfather died. 1 year after that my Uncle Brian died from Cancer, and 3 months after that my brother in law died in a motorcycle accident. I've had my heart broken many times by girls I thought could be the women I would spend the rest of my life with. The most recent, breaking up with me and a couple days later sleeping with my best friend. Needless to say he's no longer my friend and she only gets a wave when I pass her in public. Within the past year I lost the job I held for 3 years. Since then i worked in two other places of employment, both of which are killing me mentally and emotionally. I'm 24 and still live at home with my parents and have no means of moving out anytime soon. Also found out within the past 5 months my oldest sister, who has always had her life planned out and everything seemed so perfect, has been dealing with major depression. So bad that after her son's 7th birthday on the 19, she was going to kill herself. I'm glad she's seeking help but it really makes me wonder, if someone who's had it all figured out from when they were younger can lose control like that, how can someone like me ever even hope to get it together. I've been depressed since my grandfather died and every event has made it worse. There has been several times in the past 4 years that i've thought about killing myself or wished that the last car accident I was in would end it all.

However, its come to my attention that in order to feel like I'm at least trying to do something with my pathetic life, i should go back to writing..or at least thats what i can come up with. Something productive to get my mind off of the dark depression that sits behind the locked door in my mind. So without further hesitating, i'm going to be writing again. Hopefully its good. if not oh well, i'm sorry for my shitty writing.
But Thanks to everyone whose read all the stories i've put out so far.