So I've been meaning to write about this blog for a while but whenever I'm like 1/2 way through I close the tab. Let's see if I post it this time, but I feel like the main reason why I'm so "meh" about this is because I want this to be a big dialogue and interactive and kind of like a forum, but it's not cool to comment on blogs like that anymore lol. I mean like, some people do but I feel like the blogs that get like tons of comments now are either the controversial ones or the ones where someone is super popular/has a clique/whatever.
Um, anyway, what I wanted to talk about is relationship oriented. This stemmed from something that my boyfriend said, on our first date, actually. And then I saw this tweet and I kinda feel like they tie together a bit.
On the first date, I'm not even sure how it came up, my boyfriend and I were talking and he very nonchalantly said: "Men are always looking for a serious relationship" and when he said that I mentally (and probably physically) went like:
I mentally was like "Really? That simple? Always? ALWAYS?!?"
I feel like there are so many levels that can be looked into that (which is why I probably have been thinking about it a lot) with the way modern dating is going (even without the whole "hook-up culture" bullshit they try to throw at us). And I try to wrap my head around it, but I feel like I can't because I can only go by the way my past romantic encounters have occurred which I feel like can't be fair because for the most part all of my past romantic encounters have been very casual/relax.
This really makes me wanna talk to the past guys I've encountered now lol. So there may be a follow-up blog to this.
Anyway, with my past relationships, I feel like I was the one manning the ship. I was the one in control and made (a lot) of the moves. It's 2018 and I'm all for (we're talking in a very heteronormative way, I'm sorry) women shooting their shot and making the first move and getting what they want when they want it...but at the same time, we have to acknowledge we still live in a very gendered society.
*at this point in the blog I texted the one "ex" I know I could 100% get a cordial reply from and my boyfriend*
I feel like I'm not making sense, but it's kinda weird lol. I don't necessarily believe in "hook-up" culture but I do think dating and the way people date has changed. I don't wanna say "more", but there is more transparency about peoples romantic/sexual lives and people saying that they're in like a middle ground or a "situationship".
And I'm just thinking if this is such a large thing then why is this happening if, so apparently, a lot of men are looking for something more serious?
My boyfriend replied and he said, "Most guys are looking for a serious relationship, yeah. But some want to be with more than one person or think that someone better may come along."
HOLD THE FUCK UP lol
I'm....shook, but it makes sense.
Cause like, think about it if you're with someone and it's really lax/casual/whatever...they're probably just doing whatever it takes to keep you along. Just enough to keep you coming back. Just enough to have you stay.
And, personally, the more I think about that now...the more it is just flabbergasting how well it works when you're in that moment with someone.
But, at the same time, can that even be taken personally? Should it be taken personally? Someone not wanting to see your value or thinking that you are not valuable enough, to them, seems to be more of a they problem than a you one, right?
But at the same time, it can fuck with many people's mind.
I don't know. What do you guys think? Agree? Disagree? Experience(s) with this?
Like I said I would really would like this to be super interactive and stuff, so yeah. I also feel like if this goes well I may make this part of my regular blog routine.
See ya in the next blog. Mucho besos.