This Blog is All Over the Place

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As the title says, this blog is going to be all over the place. But first off, let me start by saying all of you look lovely, I love you all, and I hope you're having great days!

If not, it is my eternal hope that they get better, and I will do everything I can to send uplifting vibes your way. You are all magical and smart and important and I hope that you are able to know that in your hearts the way I know it in mine.

It is what you are.

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Hokay, so our first stop on the descent into madness is a rant from me about my day yesterday and why I was MIA and how I'm really mad because I had (and still have) a lot of inspiration but am now to tired to do much of anything with it except vomit my ideas onto my drafts and flesh them as I'm able to focus.



*ahem*

So, a few months ago we got this new guy on staff, well, technically we got two, but the one (who I'm going to refer to as Dude Bro because he's just cringey like that to me) has been a constant red flag in my peripheral vision and I'll outline why before we get in to the events of yesterday.

- Dude Bro is hecka vain. Like, whatever, be proud of your looks, rock that confidence, gurl yassss, I like it. But there's a really distinct difference between knowing you look good, being proud of it, and stepping it up to vanity, and like I said, dude's vain as heck.
- Like carries a comb and quaffs his hair in the window reflection vain.
- Dude Bro made himself a name tag because he lost the one the company gave him, whatever, that's dandy. But do you know what he put on it, Mibba? He put "thicc" before his name. Real ding dong professional there, bro.
- One of the first things Dude Bro ever tried to talk to me about was how weird my other guy coworker is (I'll refer to him as Adopted Lil Bro). He started off by talking about Adopted Lil Bro's tastes in television and I was like "I watch all those things" and he kinda laughed awkwardly and then stayed away from me for the rest of our shift.
- Dude Bro hackey sacks in the store. On the clock.
- No I'm not joking.
- He has this really weird habit of disappearing to somewhere in the store for up to twenty minutes at a time.
- Dude Bro legit never does any task the whole way, it's always halfway done and if I have to fix another one of his mistakes that just makes work for the rest of us, I'm going to scream.



So, yeah. He gets on my nerves, if that isn't obvious. The rest of us are there, making one bomb as heck team, doing problem solving, helping customers, doing equal work, and then there's this guy trudging up the rear. And, I get it, every place has people like that. I've worked many, many jobs in my 11 years of having to have a job. Thanks mom and dad for guilting me into getting a mall job at 15.

But in almost a year of being at this job, we never had anyone like that, so it kinda sucks to see it happening now. Anyway, that's besides the point.

Point is, Dude Bro sucks. And on Tuesday, I opened and he called off on me. I instantly got shady vibes about it, considering he said that we "should call him back if we couldn't find anyone".



Boy, what? You're calling off, if allegedly that means you can't come in, why would I call you back if I can't fill your shift? Shady.

I never did find out why he called off that day.

But then he called off on me yesterday. Because "his car wouldn't start". He had called in to tell me this, and then said he was going to call around and get a ride. well, he called back in (I am not even exaggerating) two minutes and said "he called everyone he knew and there was nothing he could do.



Now, yesterday was Saturday. We had an adoption event going with a local rescue, it was a decent day out, it was busy. There was no one to cover except who was already scheduled because everyone else had specifically requested that day off.

So I had to cover his shift and ended up working open to close.



Luckily, I was working with Adopted Lil Bro in the AM and one of my other really great coworkers in the PM, so they really helped me stay sane and we survived.

But to top it all off, he called to see what he was working today and my coworker picked it up and he told her to tell me "thanks".

Really? Bro, save your thanks for my face or don't say it at all. Because that tells me you feel guilty and will probably ignore that this even happened the next time you work with me, if that time ever comes.



Ugh.

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Second stop on our descent into madness is something downright dumb a little more lighthearted.

A list of my favorite animes and my favorite male and female character from each!

Just because yesterday Adopted Lil Bro and I got on the subject during one of the random slow spots and I over-share with you lovely, patient Mibbians. I had actually never made a list before and for some of these, it forced me to actually pick a favorite because I have multiple, so here we goooooo.

In no particular order.

Durarara!!:

Shizuo Heiwajima


Yo I am not over this suit.

Are you all shocked and surprised? Me too.

Celty Sturluson



Tbh I owe Celty for really getting me in to anime. My cousin was watching DRRR!! one holiday when I was over his house and he wouldn't let me watch it, but all I saw was a lady in black with a yellow motorcycle helmet and I searched for her when i got home and didn't look back.

K:

Misaki Yata



My precious babbu boy.

Anna Kushina



My precious babbu girl. and, as much as I really didn't care for the second season, I'd call her my king.

Death Note

Mail Jeevas/Matt



GONE BUT NOT FORGOTTEN, YOU ARE MY MOST PRECIOUS WAMMY BOY. THE BEST BOY. MY SOUL WEEPS FOR YOU.

Rem



My darling, you deserved so much better.

no.6:

Nezumi



Young man, your complexity is such that a few find you annoying but I love your depth. I empathize with your view on the world.

I don't have a favorite female for this one cause I'm a piece of poop.

Mekakucity Actors:

Haruka Kokonose



You good boy. I will protec with my life this good boy.

Ene



Something about you just makes me smile. You're wonderful.

Bungou Stray Dogs:
I bet you guys can't guess in a million, billion years how this is gonna go.

Chuuya Nakahara





I'm sorry I have such a huge bias, but I had to. I freaking had to please forgive me one day. In all honesty though, maybe it's because I imagine a depth of field to his character that isn't there. Maybe it's because I want to know what his deal is so bad. Maybe it's cause he's pretty, ayeeeee. There is honestly just something about his character that makes HIM my favorite, just a touch above everyone else.

Also, I wanna be that graceful and carefree and just live my life and he's just everything I want to be, everything, help me.

Kouyou Ozaki



Again, THERE'S JUST SOMETHING ABOUT HER. Like hello graceful lady, tell me all about you past and teach me how to hold myself the way you do and just be amazing in general, teach me the ways, pls.

I'm gonna stop that before I babble into eternity. But yeah, there's some of my favorites. I have lots more, but this blog would literally be a million years long. Also I have a 30 day anime challenge I got from Hina that I'll be doing in March, so I can put more annoying stuff in there.

LONG STORY SHORT, YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.


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Item three on our agenda will contain:

Mentions of eating disorders and the feeling of slipping back into old bad habits, as well as mentions of struggles with anxiety and depression.

If anything pertaining to any kind of eating disorder or struggling mental health is sensitive or triggering for you, please turn back now, I wouldn't want my struggles to effect anyone negatively. You are all beautiful and I love you.



So, for the past six months, I've been falling back into the habit of binge/stress eating. I used to be a terrible binge/emotional eater. I was also anorexic/obsessive about my weight several times over my teenage/early twenty-hood (Until roughly the time I turned 23), and these are things I have struggled with managing since then.

I was on a pretty good track, but recently I've been really battling my anxiety and depression, for all intents and purposes, let's just say I've been in a hole, and the binge eating has started to creep back in because of that.

I want to stop here and say that I fully, firmly believe that all types of bodies are beautiful, and this has very little to do with my body dismorphia, that's always there somewhat, no matter what the scale says, no matter what my arms, legs, and torso actually look like, no matter what I'm eating.

No, it's actually effecting the way I feel health-wise, like I feel sick constantly, which is the worst. So I'm trying to get back on the horse again with eating healthy, but I have to be very careful to make sure that I'm doing it right and that the door doesn't swing the other way.

It's like walking a knife's edge, but I know I can do it. It's just really hard, when i feel like this. And I don't really know why I'm dragging you lovely Mibbians down with my crud. I just like to get it out and express it, it helps at least a little bit.

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Anyway, I'm off to eat some, watch some Jacksepticeye, and then hopefully write some more.



Stay beautiful, all you lovely people.