Trouble With My Feelings, Plus Some Fun, Unique Questions

I’ve been writing a lot lately. I feel like I do that when going through a manic episode. I guess that’s sort of like, the bright side to being crazy.

I don’t even know if what happened over the past two weeks can be considered a manic episode because I happened to have my monthly during that time. I just kept snapping at my boyfriend for everything, like literally everything. I broke down multiple times about nonsense, my mother not loving me like she lives my sisters, my failure at school, my lack of direction, being poor, and (this is the worst) not having any rice in the house. Like I thought I might be pregnant because during my first trimesters, I would get a little crazy like that but then maybe it was the bipolar disorder or most likely just my monthly. Either way, my boyfriend handled it like a champ and I appreciate him so much for it.

I wish I could explain to him why I love him so much. Like when he asks me, I say it’s because he makes me happy and he thinks that means nothing but it does. This man literally picked up a broken woman — someone who’d thought she was done with loving anyone after her sister’s suicide and who was determined to destroy any meaningful relationship — and taught me how to smile again. I literally almost killed myself just three months before meeting my boyfriend, I just was so unhappy and tired of screwing around and not doing anything important. I cried every night over my sister until I met him. After he and I started dating, I smiled at the memories of my sister, I fixed relationships with friends and I began to work on myself. Like when I say he makes me happy, I mean he literally has made me relearn how to be happy. But like in the moment, when he asks, I cannot figure out how to explain to him how important that really is to me.

I want to write a dystopian story that’s been in my head a lot. I keep seeing writing prompts about time clocks, and people dying from literally running out of time and it’s interesting to me. I’m giving it a go and will probably start posting it next month, just to give me some time to figure out my characters and what not but I already have a summary page for it. You can find it here.

Anyway, thanks for reading my crappy blog about my jumbled feelings! Until next time:

1. What is your favorite book right now?
2. Can you describe a mythological creature without naming it? I’ll give my best guess!
3. Favorite flaw in a characters physical description? Favorite trait in a character?