Music: THIS. I can't, honestly. Every single terrible moment I've had today has been followed by me either blaring this remix or blasting Hope World directly into my ears because he just is a blessing, an instant mood lifter, just how?
Feeling: I'm half hype, half annoyed, half wanting to dig deeper, half wanting to log off because WOW hate squad didn't wait long. Oh, I'm also exhausted, story at 11.
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Mibba I've officially been awake for a day and a half, help.
I actually ended up falling asleep in my car for about an hour in the parking lot at my work. For context, I ended up getting there a solid hour early, but still. That is something I've never done before.
But yeah, I couldn't sleep last night, so I just kind of... stayed up? And blasted Hope World on repeat forever while caving and reading Dead Apple spoilers, save me. I'm really proud of them though, they're doing great, honestly. And the hype I have for my bias right now, like yasssssss, some justice, finally.
Needless to say, work was exhausting, since I was already running on less than fumes. It definitely didn't help that this super rude dude decided to just completely cut me down when I greeted him and asked him if he needed help. Instead of simply saying "no", he chose to move closer to me and declare, all sassily and bothered, that:
If he had needed my help, he would have asked me.
Okay there, bunched boxers, I just didn't want you to look stupid wandering around for half an hour because you got us confused with another store, but whatever.
Go on and do it, just leave me out of it, kthxbai.
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Day Three: Favorite Male Anime Character Ever:
Okay, so I had to think about this for a solid fifteen minutes because honestly this is a pretty close tie, but really it was only going to have one outcome because
in case y'all didn't know, I love one (1) man.
Chuuya Nakahara
OKay. I'm trying to compose myself here so I can say something coherent about this loser, gimme a second because I think I'm having flashbacks to when I first saw him.
*slaps self*
*takes a deep breath*
So Chuuya, freaking Chuuya, who I let myself feel really self conscious about liking at first due to stupidity, has climbed to the top of my characters list about as fast as Bungou itself climbed to the top of my favorite animes. And, honestly, it isn't because he's v pretty. Though I do admire and scream to the heavens about that, that wasn't what made him come up on top, not by a long shot.
This amazing, tiny martial artist,
this beautiful, graceful, gravity manipulator,
this terrifying, ticking time bomb,
is so much more than anyone, even I make him out to be, and honestly I weep for him almost daily at the injustices I and others routinely do him. But I'm gonna put all of that aside and try to do a brief synopsis on why I love him so much.
When I think of him, I think of independence and freedom, of fighting to keep your autonomy when you know everyone is going to recognize you as "one half of that team" or, even better, "that other guy's partner". I think of him striving, pushing himself to be his best, to make his name known, respected, and feared.
I think of him having his own relationships, of him moving on his own accord, not because a puppet master is pulling his strings but because he wishes it to be so. I think of four years of absence in which he made the most of his time, undoing as much damage as he can and building up a very, very broken boy because he understands that there are ways to motivate and ways to control; if given the choice, he prefers the former, as he appreciates the value of trust and loyalty.
I think of him rising the ranks on his own, scoffing at the offered leg-ups and doing things on his own recognizance. Of him sitting, quietly contemplating that his ability, in its true form, will one day kill him because of its nature, because that's just the way it goes.
He is literally a sacrificial lamb in every sense of the word. And yet, he lives life to its fullest, strives to take each day and make it his, as if that day will never come, though it very well may be tomorrow. He has nothing to fear, death comes to everyone eventually, so why not live while you can?
I think of him having to submit to being under at least some form of government surveillance and reporting, because you can't tell me they let someone with the power to unleash multiple black holes and gravity bombs just wander around unchecked and unmonitored.
I think a lot more, but my brain is dead due to being awake for 36 hours and you guys probably haven't even read this far and frankly I don't blame you and if you have I love and appreciate you, bless your souls.
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Anyway, I'm off to attempt to sleep so I don't have a repeat of this morning. But before I go, please know that you are all special, and I care about you very much.
You've made it this far, you're doing great! Keep going.