I Saw Her Today

Dear Patrick,
It has been 8 years since you left this world. If I were to go back in time and tell myself what has happened and how much things have changed, I wouldn't have believed it. If I were to tell myself that I am married to a wonderful man who isn't you, I would probably flip out. I would believe, however, that the pain of losing you still hits me. Losing my little girls... It was so hard in the beginning and I suffered. I guess you suffered too, if you hadn't, you would still be here. I don't know if I would have still been with you. Truthfully, we were such a mess. We were too young. Shit, I was only 12. We were so high all the time.
The hardest thing about losing our baby girl, was that she still had her baby. But, I met her today. We met at the park with her Mom and we blew bubbles and danced. She was so much like you, I wish she could have met her father. You would have been so proud of her, Patrick. The weirdest part about meeting your little girl, was having my husband with me. He just treated her like he treats my little sister. I don't think you'd be upset he came, would you? I mean, you told me to find someone better in the letter you wrote me before you left this world. I'm not saying he's better. We just are more mature than you and I were back then. Her mom and I finally made peace, you'd be happy to know. I was finally able to forgive you for giving her what I lost.
Today was a great day and at one moment, I thought I saw you. I turned around and you weren't there. So maybe you were there? I felt your presence. As we said our goodbyes and I turned to leave, your daughter ran up to me and grabbed my hand. I turned around and squatted down to see what she wanted, she gave me a feather. I will treasure the feather forever.
This is probably the last time I see her or her Mom and in a way, it was the last time I will probably ever see you. But I wanted to write this letter to you to tell you that I have finally came to a place where I am happy and content. I succumb to crippling depression still but the medicine has been helping. I don't blame you for that anymore, I know it's a chemical imbalance.
Anyways, I always will love you and I hope this finds you.
Forever yours,
Sabre ;)