Failure

I feel like a failure.
All of my friends have met someone new, romantically, after being hurt. But not me. I don't get that luxury in life, it seems. But, at the same time, I've been hurt SOO badly, that I can't seem to believe people any more. I feel like everyone is fake and that people just put up with me because they have to.
Maybe I just don't want to find someone and I'm making excuses as to why I'm not good enough. That seems more logical, sad but logical.

I find myself saying a lot, to myself of course, that I never wanted kids. I never wanted to have to look after someone else my entire life. I wanted to live, and travel and do things that other people get to do. But I never blame my kids, I blame myself. I hate myself most days.