Summer Is Not for Me

Hey Mibba Fam, how goes it?

Happy Summer to all of you. I am sure some of you are enjoying the warmer weather, longer days, the bright sun, the beaches, the barbecues and working on tans, etc. I sincerely hope you guys are enjoying this season loved by many. With that said, Imma gonna be real with you.

Lemme tell you guys something; Summer is not my cup of tea. I don't want to say hate because that's a bit dramatic, but I do dislike it with a passion of sorts. Look, I grew up spending my days in ice rinks. I like my weather frigid, cold, bitter and sometimes even potential to be lethal. like my personality.

One of the reasons why I dislike Summer is this thing I am fighting right now as I write this blog:

MOSQUITOES.

Is there anyone on earth that is like "OOOHHH YAY MOSQUITOES! I LOVE THEM THEY ARE SO FUN." ???? I think NOT. They bite. They make me itch-n'-bitch and worse? Sometimes they make people really sick! So why the hell would I enjoy having one flying around my bedroom?
This particular one that is in my room right now has gotten away TWICE. Now I am not gonna be able to sleep until it's dead.

Well if I am going to be up, may as well document this. Here, I will make it dramatic for your entertainment. Hope you enjoy:

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


CAPTAIN'S LOG 1: It got away not once but twice. Now I am sitting on my bed, waiting for it to reappear. My palms still sting from the last failed attempt. But I am ready for it this time, it won't get away again. It shouldn't be long now. That pest will meet it's end.

CAPTAIN'S LOG 2: It has been five minutes since my second attempt at it's life and it has yet to show itself. It may be watching me, waiting for me to lower my guard. Sleep will not come for me until this fight ends. No matter--- sleep is for the weak.

CAPTAIN'S LOG 3: I think I see a speck moving in the corner of my ceiling. But I feel that I shouldn't move from the safety of my bed. But I know I will have to go out and check for the sake of my sanity. Maybe I will try throwing something at it...

CAPTAIN'S LOG 4: A small beetle decided this was a party to join. Now it's busy flying and bouncing off the wall above my head in little clink! clink! clink!

What a dumb bug.

CAPTAIN'S LOG 5: WHY DID I THINK FLINGING A SPORTS BRA AT IT WOULD HELP?! NOW I DON'T KNOW WHERE THAT BUGGER IS. GODDAMMIT. Deep breaths, keep calm. I will log this.

Last sighting: In front of the closet door, flying in front of my black kitty sweater.
Assassination attempt made with projectile, weak aim.
Contact unknown. Success unlikely.

CAPTAIN'S LOG 6: The phantom itch has kicked in. Always at the back of my neck. It's as if I am getting bit by that blood sucking parasite over and over again.

Psychological warfare at its worst. This is inhumane. If this keeps up, the little that I have left of my sanity will be gone.

Damn you, cruel world.

CAPTAIN'S LOG 7: To hell with this! I braved an expedition out from the safety of my brightly lit room for a small consolation. The search didn't last long. A concoction made from natural oils from lemongrass and eucalyptus, primarily for outdoor use. But I think the occasion is more than appropriate for its use. Promptly upon my return I dosed my bed and self with liberal spritz of the bottle. The space has now been marked as my safe haven from the flying vector of diseases. Hopefully it is enough.

The smell is rather pleasant. It does much to soothe my nerves.

CAPTAIN'S LOG 8: It has been 46 mins since my last attempt. I don't think I have blinked in 15 minutes.

Also, started hearing buzzing, right by my ear. Is my enemy growing bolder? Or has my mind fully betrayed me and now I am hallucinating?

CAPTAIN'S LOG 9: I am too impatient to end this war. I have gone out and done a quick sweep of the perimeter, and even a quick recon of the hallway outside my room. Nothing. It's as if the vexation has merely vanished into thin air.

If I am brave enough, I may go investigate the last known sighting, to see...
Just the thought of it makes my skin itch.

CAPTAIN'S LOG 10: It's dead. It's been dead all along.
I finally went and gingerly probed around the location of the last sighting and lo and behold, on my black kitty sweater, a squished mosquito wedged in between the folds of the fabric. Right where the balled up sports bra had landed. Everything had been a lie this whole time.

You would think I would find peace now. And I did... for a full half a minute. But my mind, the traitor, thinks up one awful thought.
"One dead... but there's probably more in the house right now..."

CAPTAIN'S LOG 11: This is hell. The beetle is still here and still inadequate at flying, as it just bounced off my face and then hit something else. Dumb beetle.

I am now signing off, having accepted that this is my reality now. I hope you all enjoy your summer season safely.
July 6th, 2018 at 07:10am