I haven't really been active lately, honestly because Mibba has sort of died down and I feel like even when I do post content, nobody really interacts.
Anyway, I've been on this website for a decade. A whole ten years! I have never deactivated, swapped accounts or anything like that, this has literally been my Mibba account for ten entire years of my life! I've changed usernames, I remember my very first one was Angel.of.Syn and, since then I've changed a few times, I believe my most memorable ones would be Ned Flanders, Kinki Jinki, Gannicus annd my most recent one, Kim Taehyung. I can't remember the others tbh. I've changed fandoms 500 times as well. And Mibba has also changed so much. I've been here since the very old layout, I remember the big layout change and, before Dujo settled for this one, we briefly had a very similar one but with a drawing of a girl writing on a notebook on the top left hand side corner. This website used to be really busy but lately it's been sort of just here, for some reason. We had this attempt at a Mibba revival but it didn't really work as expected. It's sad, it feels like my teenagehood has definitely ended now and I have to leave it behind.
A lot of people I've befriended over the years have deactivated and I haven't talked to them since, others I still follow on Facebook (like Caresse, whose username was park chanyeol at some point. Is she still here?) It's odd that I've spent so much of my teenage years on a website. I mean I've had Mibba before I even joined Facebook or made a YouTube account!
The person who brought me here is my irl friend Jo, who has since disappeared from Mibba. This website has seen me grow a lot, too, as a writer and as a person. I remember my very first piece of fanfiction was a one-shot about a girl who was in love with a guitar player, because at the time I had a crush on Synyster Gates lmao, not knowing about his strange "super-power" that, when he kissed someone, the person turned to stone. It was pretty lame but 15 year old me thought it was so cool. I've deleted loads of stuff from here, mostly because I feel like I've outgrown them but I kinda wish I had kept them in some format just to look back and see how much my writing and my English have improved over the years.
I'm still writing but these days I'm not very motivated to do so. For one, I have a job that sucks all my energy and makes me work really long hours aka flight attendant. And then just... nothing I write ever gets any attention, which is really frustrating. I get it that we should write for ourselves but, when I bother to translate my work into English and post it online, I kinda want to get comments on it, reviews, just any interaction...? That's the point of Mibba, Tumblr, AO3 and so on. So it makes me sad when absolutely nobody reads or interacts with my work. It's already hard for me to find the time to do it, let alone actually fight crippling depression and force myself to DO anything and then when I do, I feel like nobody gives a shit. Idk, it's just sad...
But I'm rambling a lot. As I tend to do. I've always been a rambler.
So ten years later, here I still am. My love for writing hasn't died down, even if I sometimes feel like it has. Depression has taken so much away from me but it has somehow never fully stolen my love for creating stories or my imagination. That makes me happy. Just the fact that I'm breathing right now, lying in my bed at 1AM just rambling about rambling is an accomplishment in itself. Ten years ago, I really didn't think I'd live to twenty six.
Well, that's it for today's blog. Maybe I'll start being more active, who knows? If anybody wants to follow my very aesthetic Tumblr where I also post my fics and maybe leave a comment on there or AO3 or here, that'd be nice but I'm really not fishing for anything, just saying.
jour-de-printemps on tumblr
bloominglungs on AO3
blooming_lungs on insta if y'all wanna see aesthetic pics I'm an aesth hoe #saveme
TL;DR I've been here for 10 years and my English is a lot better now even though it's still shite.
Mucho love
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