A Blog but Not Really: Why Technical Writing Is a Lie

I'm not exactly sure what this is, so I'm posting it as a blog. Is it a rant? An essay? An article? Who knows. Regardless.

I take issue with my major. I know that's something a lot of people in college say, but in reality it's more than that. I take issue with the entire STEM field and the majority of thinking which it entails.

Pause. Let me write that how STEM people think I should. Here goes nothing.

There is a problem with the way the STEM (Science Technology Engineering Mathematics) fields view writing.

Did you feel that? Aren't you just jazzed to know what I have to say next? I doubt it. I doubt it because that sentence has no voice. It has no flow. It has no feeling. Sure, it got straight to the point, no minced words, but do you honestly mean to tell me that you would want to read an entire twenty page manuscript written so plainly? I certainly wouldn't. And yet that is what I am being taught in my technical writing course.

The rules are simple: Be concise, be clear, be factual. Aaaaannnndddd...? And nothing. That's it. Why say in three lines what can be said in one, right? Well, my wonderful, tasteless professionals, say it in three lines because it is more enjoyable that way. Say it that way because if you write twenty pages about something, should I not assume you care about the subject? Would you not want me to also care about the research you have spent your life on?

One thing is for sure, if you are going to spend all that paper talking to me in ones and zeros like my machine language program does, I am not going to read it no matter how fascinating the subject. I get that there are different types of writing, but that does not mean facts have to be boring.

Have you ever looked inside a computer? Let me tell you a bit about it, for those of you who haven't. Start with your monitor. The workings of that bright glow-y surface are the responsibility of a thin layer of liquid crystals that are contained within glass and plastic. Did you think it was little light bulbs? Surprisingly, it isn't. Those flowing crystals are controlled by currents sent to them by the computer. Behind the glass and plastic encased crystals are a series of sheets of different colored plastics and materials that refract the light. Its like a big, beautiful onion.

Now obviously what I described was not professional. It wasn't technical, but it does show a little bit of what I am trying to say. I just got you to read about the inner workings of your computer or laptop screen. If that isn't something you would normally consider dry reading, I don't know what is.

A research paper doesn't have to be a fluff piece, but I certainly don't think it has to be robotic and methodical. If we as a school of thought want others to care about our research, we should make it accessible to those who don't program or design systems. We should make it interesting, fun, interactive and artful. Writing is a craft and you can't just take that away because you think a report should be concise. Maybe we should stop teaching engineers how to write, and start showing them how to be writers.

PS. Dr sparkly fandangle award manager pants, people will enjoy reading my thesis a lot more than they enjoyed yours. :P

PSS. I'm a child with an unhappy opinion and I did not like your lecture go away.

Fin.