How Would You Feel If Your SO Didn’t Like Your Writing?

Okay so as I’ve talked about I’ve had the same boyfriend for 3 years. We live together and all that pizzazz. Well early on I’d puff up and tell him I’m a writer. It’s the one hobby I do with any sort of commitment, and it’s one that I’m damn proud of.
“Okay. Cool.” He’d tell me and then we’d kind of move on with the conversation. My boyfriend and I are polar opposites in our own way; hes scientific, ethical, and critical. I’m the emotional, creative as most of us on here probably are. We do have a small blend on the other side—he likes to paint sometimes and I geek out on some science topics. So I was kind of surprised when he didn’t say anything more or ask me to elaborate, but I just figured it’s not something that interests him.
But see I’ve always dated and been around people that were more like me, and he consistently wants us to share hobbies. So when we first moved in on 2016 I picked out what I thought was one of my best original short stories, printed it out, made it it’s own little folder and put it on the coffee table for him to read in the morning.
Let me tell you, the number of people who know me and who’s allowed to read my writing do not overlap. To this day it’s been my parents, my best friend, and two romantic interests as well as a few English teachers. And the things I hand to them is selected out of my collection personally— I choose things I want them to read. So this one was handpicked with his interests in mind; it was a story based on Greek mythology with some context to laws of physics. This one actually won an award while I was in high school, so I felt pretty confident.
I was nervous all morning, came home later on and asked him about my story.
“I didn’t finish reading it. I couldn’t get through it.” He said.
“What do you mean? It was only like 8 pages.” I said.
“I didn’t like it.”
“I don’t know. I just didn’t.”
“That’s okay, not everyone likes the same stuff. Just why didn’t you ? I want to know so I can be better.”
“Maybe it’s just how it’s written.”
“So the wording wasn’t right?”
“I don’t know. It just wasn’t that good.” I was taken aback. Like you couldn’t even finish it? Not even for me?

So we dropped it altogether. I write, he asks about it without any interest, and we move on. I’ll bounce ideas off of him, and he shrugs through them. Then the other day he brought it up again. He’s never been big on going to college or careers and we were talking about career paths.
“I thought about being a travel journalist, because I like to travel, but I can’t write.” He said.
“That’s okay, I can write and you can do photography.” And he kind of chuckled and had this demeaning smirk on his face. “What?”
“Nothing. It’s just that you’re not that good.”
“...excuse me?”
“You aren’t food at it. But it’s okay, with practice I’m sure you could do better.”
“I don’t need practice.” I snapped. “I’ve been writing since I was seven.”
“Yeah, and it’s a fun hobby for you I’m sure-“
“Have you read anything else I’ve wrote? Tried to read anything else I’ve wrote? Offered critics on anything I’ve written other than saying all my writing sucks after you read ONE piece written while I was fifteen and you read it over two years ago? What about any of my published articles? What about the two now that was featured on a popular website? Two out of THREE I’ve written for them. No? Shut the hell up then.” I was LIVID. But you know what? Nothing I was going to say would make a difference. I just know I’m talented on some level because people have told me I’m talented, and I believe in my writing.
I’m just so steamed about it, even still and that was a few weeks ago. Because words like that can break a person down. What if I wasn’t confident in myself or my writing? What if instead I was just like “you write, I’m garbage at this lololol silly little me” and never picked up a pen again? There is people like that. At one point I was like that. You just took away a hobby, something that brings joy into a persons life and for what? What do you gain from being a jerk about something someone loves?
I just don’t know, maybe I’m being sensitive, but do you feel this way?
October 21st, 2018 at 06:24am