A Little About Qhuinn.

Hello all! The last months away have been something else. I have missed you all and sadly things just don't pan out the way I planned. I haven't worked on any of my writing in a long time partly due to the lack of a computer but mostly because of severe depression brought on by my cripple anxiety.
I have always lived with anxiety at some level: social anxiety, PTSD-based anxiety, and generalized anxiety but with everything that has happened in the last year its just gone down hill. We lost our last apartment, two cars, my fiancé lost his job, and add two kids into the mix and it was just not a good combination.
It got to the point where I didn't want to get out of bed in the morning, my house was a disgusting mess because I just couldn't bring myself to clean it and I was just a wreck myself: emotionally, physically, and mentally. I was so angry at everything and all I could do was yell and scream.
Finally, I realized that I needed help when I realized that I started to resent and hate my own kids.
My OWN FUCKING KIDS MAN.
Thankfully, my primary care physician and my work are located in the same place and I was able to tell my boss, "I need an appointment today. I cant wait. I need it today." and he let me take the morning to go talk to my doctor about my mental help and finally, after all this time, he was able to get me onto medication.
I am in such a better place now, while its still a struggle sometimes I can happily say I no longer let my house get that disgusting, I've been showering regularly, and I don't resent my kids anymore.
In other news, my step-daughter came to stay with us full time. So its nice for my daughter and son to have their sister with them. Oh and my very best friend moved into my 1000 sq ft, 2 bedroom apartment with her three kids because she wasn't in a good place with her relationship. Its a tight fit but we make it work.
Its nice having someone here to help me stay mentally sane and for my kids to play with, because to be completely honest, the kids are all a bit psycho so they mesh well.
But yeah, that's been my life in a nutshell for the last year or so.
I regret not writing but with the way my mental health was until about a month ago I would have written about killing people and sadness and shit and while WNF needs that right now I didn't want it to bleed into the rest of my writing.
I'm playing with the idea of buffing up some of my existing fluff pieces to help my frame of mind. Like a write happy, be happy type of thing, ya know?

How is NaNoWriMo going for everyone? I know it's like half way through the month but Im curious at who is participating and how everyone is doing and what they're writing about.
I am, of course, not participating again but maybe next year. I'm probably not gonna write for the next few months just because I still don't have my own computer (I am currently using my friends) but come February we should have the money to buy me one once we all move into a bigger house.

Anyways, yeah, I hope everyone is doing well and here are some pictures of my kiddos because I love showing them off.

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November 17th, 2018 at 06:10pm