Up until two days ago (when someone at POF unceremoniously deactivated my account), I've been on a dating website for two months and holy shit, what a whirlwind. During the time that I was on this website, I was in the process of crossing three states to get to Houston, Texas with my mom and little brother. It gave us some entertainment while driving. One guy messaged me while I was in New Mexico for the night, insisting that I come over so that he can (and I quote) "tear my ass up". Lemme tell you, boy, the only thing that will ever tear my ass is some tacos, lmaoooo. Another guy in, I think, Arizona, insisted that he and I begin some mad, passionate hookup/affair/whatever you call it not once but multiple times; this is after I clearly stated on my profile that I'm not interested in sex at all -- hookups or otherwise. Quite frankly, this experience makes me view the world in a real fucking pessimistic view.
It could be just the guys that creep on these websites, but I mean, wow. It was nothing short of really shocking to read what these guys wrote to me. I don't understand why these guys think that I'd like to read these disgusting, sexually graphic fantasies that they send to me and what I further don't understand is why they think something like that would appeal, just not to me, but to anyone. Something you'd really like to look back on and say, "Wow, this fella really won my heart by telling me what he wanted to do to me sexually -- without us ever meeting!" It's not even really the sexual part -- I got grilled by multiple guys as to why I don't want children. Like, I just don't, man. That's it, lmao.
I keep going on these stupid websites bc my paternal grandparents...idk, I feel like they don't really like me. I'm nothing like my middle brother, who basically inherited a job after my dad died, has two cars, and a girlfriend. I'm scratching 26, never had a boyfriend, am still in school, am the owner of a car that is actually the business car, and (after this, especially) have no plans of having children or getting married. I made this clear last time I saw them and they immediately thought it was because I was secretly gay. Spoiler alert: I'm NOT and my sexuality has nothing to do with any of that bullshit. My grandma also suspected that my best friend is actually my girlfriend bc I was laughing while texting her. You can't make this shit up. It's so strange and weird.
It really makes me feel broken.
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I finally managed to update Fragility and Pale. Check them out, if you'd like. (:
Anyways, that's all for now! Hope y'all have a good rest of the weekend/upcoming week. ♡
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