I Miss Me More.

I do apologize for not being active as much as I used to be. I'm hoping next month, the writing cup will bring me my groove back. I just have a lot on my mind and nothing seems to want to be written down, lmao. But I have a new idea in mind and if you'd like to check it out, it's called Heartless.

My mind is just blah. I'm not sure if i'm happy anymore. My boyfriend has been saying mean shit lately and its just been getting to me. Bitched at me the other day because I don't have a car but like I tried to get a car a couple months ago and he told me I didnt need a car so like what the fuck?? Then he's bitching because I don't have income coming in. like bro, i've been applying for jobs for days. I have been TRYING. Not my fault no one wants to hire me.

This sounds bad, but if I had somewhere else to go I'd be gone. My anxiety has been bad and he's just making things worse and I'm getting fed up. I love him, but at the same time is it worth it anymore?

I haven't talked to my father in 7 years and I've been thinking about contacting him again so I can move out of state. He moved to Utah a while back and right now that sounds like a great choice. But i'm making sure I really think about it before doing anything drastic. Does anyone have any advice? I'm just stuck.

Sorry for the depressing blog but this is the only place I can vent and feel comfortable with it. I just don't know what to do anymore.