My mom has a friend, whom we'll call Linda. Linda and my mom have been friends since high school, since around 1985. Long story short, they've been through some stuff together throughout their thirty years or so friendship. Linda has two kids, whom we'll call Lisa and Kevin. Lisa is 18 and was just recently accepted to uni; Kevin is 13 and yikes, I do not like this kid, but that's a whole other story. Sorry, not sorry.
Anyways, Linda was married and just recently finalized a very, very ugly divorce. The divorce was long, drawn out, and downright horrific. Because of the divorce, Lisa puts all the blame on her father (when it's honestly Linda's fault, but again, that's another story) and refuses to speak to him, but is very eager and willing to when he gives her money. Nice kid, right?
I mentioned this a few blogs back, but two years ago, my dad passed away. It was sudden and I would rather not go into details about it. Linda and Lisa took this opportunity to make my tragedy about them. I'm not kidding. During the funeral, they made a show of themselves and while we were going through the post-funeral deal -- which, in the Jewish religion, includes the funeral goers coming to our home and someone, not the family, pays for catering and we sit and talk about the deceased and all of that -- Linda started gabbing away to my grandmother (whom just buried her only son) about how my dad cut Lisa's hair as a child and blah blah blah, all of this stuff about herself and how muchhhhh she'll miss my dad and ugh. I remember seeing my grandmother looking like she wanted to die and I probably should've stepped in and shut Linda up. Basically, the whole thing was just a nightmare.
Two weeks ago, we went on vacation to California and we met up with Linda and Lisa for lunch and they managed to persuade my mom to have us stay over with them for the night. Great. Awesome. I should've had a drink or two at lunch, but I digress.
We made our way to Linda's house and we go to dinner with Linda, Lisa, and Kevin. Lisa starts showing us this text that her dad sent her. It was nothing bad, and I thought it was really sweet. He sent her, "You are the love of my life!" and a picture of them together. She kept saying that he's such an asshole and, 'if I'm the love of his life, why doesn't he come to visit me at school???"
I sat there and had to hold myself from telling her that she's an ungrateful, snot-nosed little punk, that HAS her father in her life and she treats him like shit and still has the fucking gall to demand why he doesn't come to visit her????????? But it's totally fine as long as he stashes nearly five figures in her account, right?
I went to bed that night and sobbed my damn eyes out. I would fucking give everything in me to have my dad back. I would give everything not to stand in front of a grave on every April 24th and have to remind myself that my dad is not in that grave anymore, to not stand by his grave and weep, that he does not sleep, but that he is everywhere, but not with me, physically. But I had to sit there and witness this little ungrateful shit say these things about her father. Because of her dad, she got to travel the world, she got to live in beautiful houses, she gets to go to a damn fucking fantastic university that some people can only DREAM of attending. But I digress. I only have memories to keep my happy when times get rough and that's SO unfair.
If you have a father or father figure in your life, and only if you're able and willing to, respect them and love them and cherish what you have because a lot of us can't anymore.
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