Co-Parent Bands

I can’t say a song has ever saved my life. Nor could I sit here and tell you a band’s existence has ever had to inspire me out of dark thoughts. I’m lucky, but I can empathize with those who do credit music and musicians as their saviours.

I am not a very religious person. If I have ever experienced any kind of vision it has been through music. At a ‘Blink 182’ concert one of the opening bands was ‘The Used’. At some point during their set Bert McCracken asked for a show of hands if music was your religion. I didn’t hesitate for a moment throwing my hand up. I guess, over the years, music has been my form of religion. And I supposed in one sense that would make some bands/musicians my saviours. Some people turn to gods when they’re going through difficult times; I turn to music.

On the internet (specifically Tumblr) it is not uncommon for an individual to refer to a band member as “Dad”. In fact, Mark Hoppus has taken on the role of “Dad” for many on Twitter. I consistently snort laughter at his “dad” comments. Jack Barakat is all for the “Dad” name calling too… With a slightly more provocative “daddy” in the mix.

All kinks aside I actually thought about how some of my favourite bands do have an odd role of co-parent in my upbringing through not only their music but their personalities as individuals or what their message was as a band. I ponder often how I may have turned out if I had been a ‘Backstreet Boy’ fan as opposed to a ‘Hanson’ fan. What if I chose to listen to ‘Sum 41’ over ‘Simple Plan’ on the worst/best days. What if I had skipped entirely over the emo days and became a country fan?

I have talked about music as part of a person’s identity before because for me, it’s true. You can tell a lot about a person based on their favourite kind of music. You can tell a lot about a person based on their favourite artists.

I’m sure every new batch of humans will say the same thing: “When I was a kid we had the best music”. And maybe that’s true for their time, so I don’t feel so guilty saying that I feel lucky that when I was in my early and mid-teens I was surrounded by the very best of pop punk and “emo”.

From an early age I had a greater amount of respect for artists who could play their own instruments. Hence my lack of interest in the full blown “boy band” era. All the girls were gushing over the ‘Backstreet Boys’ and I was taping (yes, on VHS) ‘Hanson’ clips off the TV to analyze and fangirl over.

Then at about the age of 10 I had a hardcore crush on Aaron Carter. He didn’t play a guitar or anything. Blasphemy! That obsession was fleeting, but he did inspire some of my most embarrassing interpretive dance moves. Oh Aaron.

My “co-parent” bands began at the age of 12 and beyond. Pop punk artists were on the rise as the 2000’s saw the end of the boy bands’ lip synching and dancing and the beginning of the world’s obsession with early twenty-something year old guys who wore long shorts, high socks, studded belts, chucks and absolutely. I repeat. Absolutely refused to grow up.

I heard about ‘Simple Plan’ in grade 6, but it was grade 7, when I made a slew of new friends and really started to pay attention to the artists on the radio. I can distinctly remember ‘Simple Plan’s ‘Addicted’ and Avril Lavigne’s ‘Sk8ter Boi’ playing on the radio during lunch hour on our beaten up boom box in the classroom. Someone somewhere nearby was nuking a pizza pop. Someone was always nuking a pizza pop. ‘Addicted’ and ‘Sk8er Boi’ in particular managed to get everyone hyped up. Probably because for my generation Avril was the new model for “girl power” and everyone loved being able to shout “dick” in ‘Addicted’.

Even so, this would be a pivotal point in my musical taste and would help shape my identity. As someone who grew up a girly tomboy Avril was inspiring to me. A bit bratty she still made it a normal thing for girls to wear exactly what the boys wore, spit and skateboard. I didn’t know it at the time but Hayley Williams would soon be coming up to inspire loads of other girls who only dreamed of touring with all the guys.

With the introduction to Avril Lavigne came the introduction to a whole other side of music – outside of the gummy childhood artists. Bands like ‘Sum 41’, ‘Good Charlotte’, ‘Linkin Park’, or ‘Blink 182’. And my favourite – to this day- ‘Simple Plan’. During my time in high school you’d be hard-pressed to find a new local band that didn’t credit ‘Green Day’ as inspiration. ‘My Chemical Romance’ entered the scene with the most emo songs ever, and ‘Fall Out Boy’ confused us all with their lengthy song titles.

Something about the pop punk scene felt wholesome. A rite of passage for angsty teenagers and the perfect music to come home to on rough days.

The bands and artists I listened to in my teen years played a part in not only my music taste, but my take on fashion, humour, politics and individuality. Take a look at some of the things I pulled from the bands I listened (and in some cases still listen) to:

‘Avril Lavigne’: Being a girly tomboy doesn’t make you less feminine.

‘Simple Plan’: Laugh lots. Shrug off the small stuff. Give back to the people who helped you.

‘Green Day’: SOME Americans are idiots… *cough* Trump *cough, cough*.

‘My Chemical Romance’: Share your story. Be bold, be weird, be artistic, be you and don’t apologize for it. Also, guyliner is a thing and it is wonderful (personal opinion!).

‘Crisis Jane’ and ‘Inward Eye’ and ‘Maximum 60’: Local artists can be just as (if not more) talented as mainstream.

‘Marianas Trench’: Some bands and artists that reach out to you on social media and ask you to listen are worth it and will become something in the future so pause a minute and give feedback.

‘The Pink Spiders’: Man I really do love emo and guys that can pull off guyliner.

‘Fall Out Boy’: Sometimes some people won’t actually understand your message, but if the passion and drive is there it doesn’t matter. (In other words if you’ve got a soulful voice like Patrick Stump it doesn’t matter what the lyrics actually are. “This ain’t a scene it’s a gawd-dam-horse-race” forever).

‘Panic! At the Disco’: Admittedly I didn’t listen to them a whole lot, but I did take something away from them being part of the scene at the time. Adding a bit of flare to your performance does just that: ADDS. It doesn’t demean. Also Brendon Urie, right? This guy seems to be very genuine to everyone he meets and is always giving advice and keeping humour relevant.

‘Paramore’ (specifically Hayley, and specifically in my mid-twenties to now): We’re all going through something. Some more than others. We are all capable of great things with hard work and passion. Making a bold move with what you wear or how you style your hair does say a lot about you and will boost your confidence.

Some artists provided me with more inspiration than others growing up. I don’t know any of these musicians particularly well in person, but I could (and can) relate to the message they carry through their music and the words they share in interviews.

I think why some feel so strongly connected to certain artists and why they can call a musician their saviour is because while many people try to cover up, ignore, or belittle a person’s “petty” problems, these bands were and are there at the forefront loudly acknowledging through song and lyric those “insignificant” feelings. How strongly did many of us early 90’s babies feel when Pierre Bouvier sang “Welcome to my life” or “I’m sorry I can’t be perfect”. Or how about when Gerard Way screamed “I’m not Ok” or Avril bitterly stated: “So much for my happy ending”?

We might look back now as grown adults and laugh, but at the time it was very real. As a teenager, when you feel like the world is out to get you and everyone else is telling you it’s a phase you’ll grow out of you start to feel undermined. I completely understand why someone could rely so much on a band. I can absolutely acknowledge that a song may have changed someone’s view on life.

I think I may have turned out a bit differently if I’d been a country fan or a rap fan. Not for better or worse. Just different.

Did any bands/musicians inspire you?

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