Stuck

I don't know what to do anymore. I am so sick of battling these demons in my head. I'm sick of having all these thoughts going around and no one to talk to about them. I can't talk to my boyfriend about anything because he gets way too defensive about everything, so that's not even worth it. I want to get a therapist bad. My doctor was supposed to help me but that never worked out. So Monday I'm going to see what I can do. Someone has got to be accepting patients.

Obviously, I trust a lot of you on here so I feel comfortable enough to post my thoughts here. But there is just so much going on. I don't remember the last time I was completely happy honestly. My boyfriend is the best thing that's ever happened to me but sometimes I just want to strangle him, which i think most people relate to LOL.

But thankfully, he's having dinner with his buddy so hes gone for the day and I'm feeling better now that I have some time for myself. He even bought me wine coolers so I'm going to enjoy those later!

Just sometimes the arguments we have are stressful and I'm not sure how to handle them. I don't bother to say much in response because he just gets defensive and it's not even worth it.

But he keeps talking about wanting a house together someday, which is fine and all. But I want it ALL in my name. If I get a house, I do NOT want someone to be able to take it from me if something happens. But I don't know how to tell him that. It's obviously going to happen further down the line, but I don't want it in both our names.

I'm struggling as it is. I want to be able to make a life for myself someday. I don't want to invest in a house and have it taken from me. I just don't know what to do which is why i need a therapist in my life lol. but I needed to get this out of my system so thanks to whoever reads it!