Thoughts

I dream of an odd desire that is common to human excistance. Presumably, you probably are asking, “ Tiffany, what are you talking about?”

I will explain.

Today I played the Sims game all day until I melted my brain into the idea of children. Promptly I made sure to have one after another to resurrect the desire of having my own family. I drill myself vigorously everyday to deliver the foundation safe enough to deliver children. But why is my first thought about the natural baring of a child before a career to safe guard my lifestyle? I think the idea of giving life to someone makes me feel significantly worth the dead in and out feeling. Everyday your compacted day turns into weeks which in turn seems debilitating. I seem to come home ready for the weekend, but when the weekend is here I think about work.It is a never ending roller coaster which in turn makes you feel like you are doing an amputation of the brain.

But, you may ask, are children ever going to make that better? My answer is easy; it will not.
I tell myself this, but yet in the middle of the night I ponder how it will feel to tuck my little one in and coo sweetly at them sleeping soundly. I dream of their first day at school or the bus ride to their first field trip. I had an extraordinarily childhood. I went to Disney land several times, my parents took great care of me, and I only had to worry about trivial kid problems. I want to bring that to my child. I want my child to feel loved and wanted like I did. I pray for a fragment of the childhood I had for my kids and for them to be happy and healthy. But, I guess I will say farewell to the readers of my inner turmoils. I hope you all sleep well.

Thanks,

-Tee