Emotional Abuse

Am I in an emotionally abusive relationship? I've just spent a good chunk of my day reading up on emotional abuse, and I actually almost went on the emotionally abusive hotline. My blood is running cold just thinking of the ways he checks off the boxes:

"Gives you belittling pet-names." He's always nicknamed me 'Pudge'. He says it's a Lilo & Stitch nickname, and I tell him it's not because he said it in relation to my flab stomach one day. I told him I don't apprecaite it and he still calls me it.

"Patronizing." He always gives me these sad little smiles and looks like I'm invalid when it comes to things he doesn't believe in or when I stumble over my words.

"Gaslighting." Every argument ends with me believing everything is my fault. He doesn't text me while he's out with friends for 10 hours? I'm clingy. He doesn't clean? He's the one that cleans and I'm always the one leaving a mess.

"Belittles you in front of friends." He will always make some little demeaning comment, even pushing it so far as to have made me cry in front of our friends.

"Criticizes what you wear." All of my dresses are apparent club dresses. I cannot wear half of my clothes because he makes fun of me in them.

"Criticizes your hobbies." I hide most of my hobbies away from him.

"Controls the finances." This he's exact opposite with. I pay most of the bills and he keeps his money to himself. At the same time though he criticizes how I'm always broke, even going so far as to one trip we were on had me having a nervous breakdown about the finances before suddenly having enough money to cover everything.

"Threatening to kill oneself if you leave." He did this recently, as I had broken it off with him.

"Compares you to others of the same sex as you." I know now what each of his exes look like, as well as any girl he friends attractive in comparison to me.

"You apologize continuously." I didn't notice how much I apologize until the new guy. Every single look or fumble, I am apologizing. Whether that's from this relationship or having abusive parents is up for debate.

There's a lot of marks he hits, and it just...I have a lot of emotions going on right now. How could I be so blind? How could I let it seem okay? Somehow I feel like it's my fault. No one else is seeing this. My mother has even taken his side in this breakup. Is it a big deal? Or am I making up things just to make me feel better for breaking it off?