Writing, Mental Health, and My "Cycle"

EDIT: I forgot to mention! Join the Unofficial Mibba Discord Server! We're a little dead, but still lots of fun.

Hi all! It's been awhile. I feel like I do this a lot; I come back for a spurt, leave, lurk, and then write a blog about how I'm going to come back and do all this stuff and then I leave again, and repeat. But this isn't one of those blogs! I'm going to break that cycle. I'm not going to make any promises on how I'll come back and I'll be doing all these things; I kind of feel like, with how crazy my IRL life is, Mibba is kinda just... on my back burner for now? Y'know what I mean? I hardly have time to invest in things like video games and spending time with my friends, so I know I'm not capable of coming back here to spend a lot of time here and being super active.

But I just wanna blog. I haven't written much, since, like, January. That's part of my cycle, too - I write a lot and then crash and don't come back to writing for months to come. But I've been struggling with my mental health a lot lately; I started going to therapy back in January, I almost moved out, I got a new job, I've been trying to deal with my constant monetary distress. I've just been stressed. And busy. So I'm still trying to work through that, to be alone with myself [without being on my phone, scrolling for hours on-end].

The Land of Infinite Whispers really represents my love-hate relationship with writing. I've been working on it since 2017; it's been almost two full years. I haven't even finished a draft yet, but I've already been through one major rewrite and so. fucking. much. revising. I've lost all hope in the story twice now, but I've gained interest again; it's one of those ideas I can't shake. I think about it a lot, anytime I think about writing. There's just something about it that makes me want to finish it, to edit and revise it, to query agents. Any time I try to write anything else, I simply lose interest and burn out fast, if I can even pick up any kind of momentum at all (I very often find that I can't even write a first paragraph).

So, with 31,000 words of this story on my Scrivener file... I am going to do a second major rewrite. I still need to finish outlining the story, but my main issue was the villain/driving force/main obstacle of the story - an evil force called the Scourge. I couldn't quite figure out what the Scourge was, what was going on with it, etc. But I think I finally know what it is and how to resolve it, and I'm excited with how I can finally finish this project. Maybe then I'll be able to move on to other things? Hopefully! Wish me luck.