Side Effects May Include

So I'm pretty sure I have lingering PTSD from finding my dad dead four years ago. I've never been formally diagnosed, I only got health insurance through work last October, but it only makes sense. I have made some progress, at least in my opinion, over these last four years.

I am no longer afraid of waking up to find everybody (i.e. my mom and stepdad) dead.

I thought I had made progress with the whole having anxiety over people not sticking to their schedule, meaning my mind automatically jumps to the worst case scenario if said person is running late...or what I deem as late for them, but apparently I have not made as much progress.

Today, I came home from work to see that my mom's car was gone. No big deal, she and my stepdad are doing a staycation, so they're off enjoying themselves. That's cool bro, they did the same thing yesterday. So it's all good, right?

Lol, not according to my traumatized ass. I send a group text around 6, asking if they had plans to stay somewhere over night. It had been about three hours since I had come home from work and they still hadn't come home. I got no response. My mom keeps her phone in her purse when she's out and I don't know about my stepdad.

An hour later, my mind decides it's going to freak out and go with the whole “they died in a car wreck and you're never going to know” thing. Thanks brain, you're a real pal. So I called my mom, trying to keep my cool and it goes to voicemail. No biggie, she's probably driving home.

I call a second time almost an hour later, only to have the phone go unanswered again. Just as I'm about to hang up, her car comes up the driveway. I head down the stairs, slip on my flip flops and go to meet them at the car.

Cue me turning into a crybaby, saying how it would've been nice if they'd left me a note and how my stupid anxiety made me think the worst. Annnnd, cue my mom's response of basically rolling her eyes and telling me to get over it.

Joyful, just joyful.

And thanks anxiety/PTSD or whatever. I really thought we made progress, but obviously not.