I'm really glad we got to hang out before the year ended. I really missed hanging out with you. In September, when we went to grab food, and you opened the glowstick pack, I was just in awe at how happy you were. Sheer joy and happiness and I was overcome with feelings. Feelings I shouldn't have, feelings that should never have crossed my mind, yet persistently do everytime we hangout.
I'm happy for you and your boyfriend. I really am. But some days I wish I could just tell you how I feel. Some days, I just want to let you know. I get anxious whenever we hang out because I know that you'll never feel the same, and I don't know whether this friendship will last. We keep in contact, sure, but in-person time may not be available to us forever. One of these days will be the last time we hangout in person, and every time we hangout is just like, another chance to prove that I'm worth being your friend. It takes it's toll, and some days I wish I knew if you felt this way. Even though I know you don't. The mind will wander; always has, always will.
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