Update, if anyone cares.

So I have once again kind of disappeared. A lot has happened in a short amount of time and I guess I was trying to deal with it. My boyfriend and I broke up, I found out he’s been cheating on me with a girl he recently started working with. He denied everything which made me go digging to see what I could find out and it confirmed everything I feared. He blames me and says that I wasn’t giving him enough attention. I’ve been a stay at home mom for the last three months and he did little to help on his days off or when he got home from work.

I don’t think either one of us were getting the attention we needed. Truth be told, it didn’t really feel like a relationship for the last few months. It was more like we were roommates. He works midnights so I’d sleep in our room until our baby woke up and then I’d go to the living room so my boyfriend could sleep.

I’m working on figuring out co-parenting with him, he’s hardly done anything for or with our children so I don’t know how he would do on his own. I went to a very dark place, I wasn’t eating or sleeping. Everything felt wrong.

Now, I’ve had time to cope and find myself again. I won’t be letting anyone else control my life the way he did. I haven’t smiled so much or laughed so hard in years.

There are going to be rough patches, but life will get better. I’ve hit rock bottom and I’m ready to move back up.