I Need to Say This!

I'm not skinny.

I'm am fat.

I have rolls.

I don't wear baggy clothing.

This being said, you can see my rolls sometimes pending on what I'm wearing that day. If I'm wearing a tighter fitting tank top, you will see my stomach roll depending on how I'm standing, sitting whatever!

I've always been on the bigger side. The skinniest I have ever been was end of 2018 beginning of 2019. But get this, I was deathly ill. Like no exaggeration. My appendix ruptured and caused a lot of hell inside of my body for months. Yes months. If you want further explanation of this whole ordeal, let me know I'll link you to my blogs talking about this.

I wasn't eating well and I basically was only drinking cranberry juice and water because those were the only things that didn't cause my bladder to spasm. So I lost a lot of weight. But I've gained most of it back because I can drink fucking soda again! Yea that's a big kryptonite and probably something I should really work on.

Anyway, tangent over with.

I don't wear overly baggy clothing but my clothing isn't skin tight. It fits. My mother tends to not like the fact I don't wear baggy clothing like she does. She got away with controlling my clothing when I was a teenager but now that I'm adult, I took back control and she fucking hates it. She will constantly tell me my clothing is too tight or that my tits are hanging out and shit like that. Most of the time my tits are hanging out at home. I will be sitting on the caught in a lose fitting tank top and my cleavage will be out. But I'm at home and it shouldn't matter but apparently it does.

I have learned to ignore my mom's comments. I very rarely allow her comments to bother me. I will snap at her if she catches me in a bad mood but that's it.

Today she did something that doesn't sit well with me. She sent me a link to Shapemint's facebook. Shapemint is shapewear so basically Spanx. I wouldn't mind getting shapewear but I don't go out enough. This is something for like date night and fancy dinners or even concerts. I flat out told her I don't go out enough. Want to know what her comment was?

"We can wear this when we go out shopping to Walmart."

Yes she admitted she needed them too but that's not the point. The point is that she thinks shapewear is needed in my every day shopping outfits is what's pissing me off. Shapewear has no business in my outfits for every day shopping. I'm usually in jeggings and a t shirt. Like why would I need to be sucked in!?

If you wear shapewear to Walmart, you do you booboo. I'm not doing that. And I'm probably overreacting to this but I'm still annoyed and it's been bothering me all fucking day. My mom always hated how my grandmother was critically about how she looked and what she wore. You would like she would want to break the cycle with me. But nah, she goes over board.

I know I don't have a rocking body but usually I'm happy with how I look. The only time I get pissy with how things fit is usually around my period and no one likes being bloated.

I don't know why this has gotten to me like it has. Again I'm probably overreacting.

Thank you for letting me vent.