Now that I had some time to process it, I didn't think leaving someone who mentally abused you for two years would be so fucking hard. I never got closure, and I left still madly in love with him. But I couldn't take the constant yelling anymore. I couldn't take not feeling good enough anymore. I couldn't take how miserable, how guilty he always made me feel for shit that wasn't even my fault. I just couldn't do it anymore, so Saturday morning I called my mom and she came and got me out of there. I did all I could do, and sometimes it's just not worth it anymore.
It's been almost a week, and it still hurts. I had to call my doctor and get on meds for my anxiety because work on Monday was nothing but hell. It's now Thursday night and I'm starting to accept it. I'm starting to accept that it's done, and I need to keep going.
I will never allow another man to walk all over me the way he did. I will never become dependent on a man ever again. But I will also probably never love anyone else the way I loved him. But it's over with and all I can do is just keep pushing on.
If anyone actually see this, thanks for reading it. I just needed to get my thoughts out for the first time in forever.
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