me

how does anyone live with the unbearable truths of this world? i am utterly broken right now. i am having anxiety attacks out of nowhere more and more frequently as i stare into the fuckin abyss and i don't know how to comprehend it anymore. i thought i was comfortable with life and death cycle but i am now terrified. i love being here and i love my humans i share this life with and seeing it pass so quickly before my eyes brings me to this place often. we are here for such a short time together. tears are pouring from me and my heart is racing. is this why so many drink so much? i am a deep feeler. and a very deep thinker. sometimes it hurts to be these things. right now. it hurts. i feel in such monstrous proportions . fuuuuuuuuck what the fuck is wrong with me

and as fast as it was here it has left and i feel nothing but exhaustion and some kind of weird peace.

i think i need help.