Goodbye, Mibba

-Depressive writings ahead-

Oh wow, I had forgotten about Mibba. It's so sad to see how empty it seems now, is there anyone there? I used to be so active on here and I was only recently reminded of it because I received an alert from my email that my information from here may have been leaked (Username plus password). I assume from a couple messages I'd apparently sent that were super suspicious that is correct. Bit scary, but what can you do?

I remember finding this site recommended by people on Quizilla back in the day (Ah, Quizilla; my scene kid awakening haha), and it took a bit to get used to. I quickly began posting rubbish stories by myself and co-written with friends, most of which have been deleted out of embarrassment. I guess while I'm here I'll get rid of everything else left on my profile and properly close out this chapter of my life. I know it's silly and overdramatic, but this feels kind of like an end of an era for me, much like when I grew out of Quizilla and it eventually shut down. I know, I know, I keep mentioning a totally different site on my farewell to this one. I guess I consider them both to be almost the same, like Mibba is the younger yet more mature and gifted sibling. I have a lot of nostalgia for Mibba and Quizilla since they basically made my teenage years, and maybe I'll move on to another writing site eventually.

Writing's been a lot harder for me since becoming an adult. It's something that plays on my mind a lot, having been the kid who was always reading, writing, or playing on the computer. Now it's hard to do any of those, and it's really made me question who I am. There's a strong lack of motivation to do anything now, and my only hobby seems to be collecting clothes I'll never wear. I start hobbies but they don't stick, and my friendships now seem to be the same way. I had a toxic relationship for four years, and it's sucked away what was meant to be my wild and free years. I know I'm still young, but I still feel like I'm too old to start anything and be who I want. It doesn't make sense; I know. It's just how I feel. I feel older than I'm meant to be.

(Sorry, I'm using this blog in the knowledge that few, if any, will read it)

Seeing Mibba now is just a reminder that life moves on, no matter how much I wish I was still a thirteen year old, depressed but not as much as now. When I was absolutely sure of my life goal of publishing books and becoming a well-known author. Now all I hope for is for something to work out for me outside of my current relationship. I want to be mentally healthy again and not have the other psychological struggles I'm dealing with, but at the same time getting healthy is so scary; it feels like all I have.

Thank goodness for my boyfriend. Slowly, I'm getting into writing again when I'm able, and I'm not always stuck staring blankly at an empty page, hoping for any word to come to mind. I didn't think I'd ever log in to here again; I probably wouldn't have if it weren't for the info leak (Why someone would bother on a writing site I have no idea)

Goodbye, Mibba
It was fun